The World Cup, the single biggest and most-anticipated sporting event on the planet, starts Thursday and whoops, sorry, it's already over. This beagle won.

Meet Pig. Pig the dog of Birmingham, Alabama. She was the big new star of Do Dah Day. And y'all know how B'ham is about its Do Dah Day dogs, bless their hearts. Pig is kinda screwed-up, aesthetically, which of course just deepens the Five Tuesdays In Heaven With Marley and Me narrative potential, fulfilled here by the Birmingham News' Joey Kennedy:

Mornings are the goddamn worst: Hitting snooze 6 to 8 times, trying to make coffee when you haven't had any coffee yet, getting out of bed ever again. Why? Ban mornings.

Twelve-week-old German shepherd puppy Rosie is clumsy and not entirely in control of her faculties: She accidentally "drove" her owner's car into a pond near Boston this weekend.

At a bar in Seattle, Washington, one dog with a strong will, wanted nothing more than to bring a giant stick through a doorway that just simply wouldn't fit it. He tries different angles, inevitably getting stuck each time, until enlisting a friend gets him to the genius idea to shift the stick's angle.

Lena Dunham, the Brooklyn-based film director and television star, posted this picture to her Instagram last night. It apparently shows a bleeding wound on her rear end, caused by a bite from her dog, Lamby. Dunham seems to believe this is cute ("#therewillbeblood" she hashtagged it).

Idiot dog commits suicide.

There's a lot of plausible deniability in a situation involving three dogs and one mess, but not for this incredibly guilty pup.

One might imagine the inescapable joy, but also terror, of experiencing sunshine and grass for the first time. One might also imagine that joy multiplying many times over if you happen to be a beagle.

Important development in the cat vs. dog wars: Yesterday, a toddler riding his bike in his family's driveway was nearly mauled by a neighbor's aggressive dog. But before the dog could do too much damage, Tara, the family's cat, rushed out and scared the much-larger dog away.

After getting a summer haircut, Jin Dan the Pomeranian saw himself in the mirror and immediately started walking on his hind legs. He wouldn't come down for two days, just leaning on the wall when he got tired.

Kellar the 3-year-old English Springer was born completely blind, but that doesn't slow him down when it comes to playing fetch.

Ralphee the kitten has a neurological condition called feline cerebellar hypoplasia, which impairs her fine motor skills and ability to walk, making her what's affectionately known as a "wobbly cat." Fortunately, her buddy Max the cattle dog is always there to look out for her.

The Ft. Worth veterinarian arrested on animal cruelty charges earlier this week admitted to secretly keeping five dogs alive after their owners had dropped them off to be euthanized. Some of the dogs were kept in cages for years, according to a police report.

The dog who mauled a 4-year-old boy's face in February will not be destroyed, but will rather serve an unusual sentence for his crime, a Phoenix judge has ruled.

A veterinary clinic in Texas allegedly convinced a family to euthanize their 5-year-old Leonberger for health reasons, only to secretly keep the dog alive in a feces-covered cage for six months for blood transfusions.

Beatrice the dog was stolen from her backyard in Milwaukee, burned over the majority of her body, and then left in the cold for eleven days. When she was rescued, several veterinarians vowed to save her—for free, and with the help of some pigskin.

Some of the best dogs on earth are shelter dogs. Also some of the craziest dogs. Today, we celebrate these wonderful, insane, great dogs, with their totally real descriptions from a local dog shelter.

A dog in a hat and wig, whose name is Lupita and who looks fearful for its life, sits atop a handmade palanquin of sorts, decorated in other hats and garb. Lupita was a contestant in today's Fiesta Pooch parade in San Antonio, to her dismay. Via Eric Gay/AP

A new study claims that dogs release the same "love hormone" (oxytocin) that humans do when they're excited about a new relationship. How sweet! Even more reason for your friend to get one! (You would, but sadly your apartment doesn't allow it.)