Russian fertilizer billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev needed somewhere for his daughter, a student at an unidentified American university, to stay when she visited New York. Nothing too fancy—just an easy spot with a nice bedroom, an eat-in kitchen, maybe an office, and, while we're at it, a library, and, if possible, a terrace. Oh, and an in-apartment gallery. For her art. Around, say, 6,744 square feet? On Central Park West?

Congratulations, Donald! You finally closed on the sale of your Palm Beach manse! We hope you get a chance to have a glass of champagne with the man who will be its new occupant, Russian fertilizer kingpin Dmitry Rybolovlev. We don't know if Dmitry speaks any English, but you'll undoubtedly be capable of bonding over your shared love of all things gold and shiny. Oh, and nice work describing it as a $100 million sale even though you actually sold it for $95 million. You always remember to round up! Remember how you used to insist there were 68 floors in the Trump Tower, even though we all knew there were actually only 58 stories, and you'd simply skipped ten floors to make the building seem taller than it actually is? Yea, it was kind of like that. Good work.