Just when you think there isn't enough readily available high culture in this country — the opera is too expensive, plus Lepage's staging of Das Rheingold actually makes us miss fusty old Otto Schenk — comes news that we are saved. Specifically, we're getting some Jersey Shore spin-offs.

Here's a video of a bunch of girls (and probably a few guys) at the University of Rhode Island attacking the getaway car of a celebrity who visited the campus. The celebrity in question? Jersey Shore's DJ Pauly D. Sigh.

[One of the stars of MTV's 9-part, Michael Apted-directed documentary series "Jersey Shore Up" in New York City yesterday; image via INF]

A reenactment of our favorite dysfunctional reality show. Only Snooki, The Situation and DJ Pauly D are 5 years old. Don't worry, they're still tanned, and The Situation still flashes his abs at every opportunity.