On Saturday, a small fire broke out near Disneyland's It's a Small World attraction, NBC Los Angeles reports, injuring none but entertaining many.

Eos lip balm spokesperson Christina Aguilera celebrated her birthday with friends at Disneyland two weeks ago. At the time, she posted on Instagram that it was a fun party at the "happiest place on earth." Courtesy of a new report from TMZ, we've learned that wasn't the case for Mickey Mouse.

Canadian petty crimelord Justin Bieber was pushed around Disneyland in a wheelchair over the weekend, causing wild speculation that not only is he a sarcastic little asshole, he's also an unfair line-jumper and a blight on the Happiest Place on Earth. "Justin Bieber + wheelchair + Disneyland = I get to cut to the front of the line!" calculated the advanced mathematicians at TMZ labs.

One man has made it his life's focus to prank people obliviously carrying on loud cell phone conversations in public. This week, he picked a new hunting ground: the happiest place on earth.

Back in 2011, then-six-year-old Lily Clem took the Internet by storm with her highly emotional reaction to a surprise trip to Disneyland.

Just as they do everything, rich people and entitled liars have tarnished Disneyland for everyone today with their disgusting and pitiful greed. Is nothing sacred? No, nothing is sacred.

With Disney having cornered the market on cutesy, it's pretty easy to forget that some of the company's characters are supposed to be evil beyond redemption.

It now costs $92 to get into Disneyland, for god's sake.

Jose Martinez's lawyer says it took the quadriplegic man three hours to medically stabilize after he was left stranded on Disneyland's infamous "It's A Small World" ride, with the ride's equally infamous theme song blaring in the background the entire time.

A hero can be anyone. It can be a fireman who runs back into a burning home to save a beloved childhood pet (toad). It can be a teacher who stays after school to help a student struggling with math. It can be a long Italian-style sandwich filled with a variety of meats, cheeses, and seasonings.

This afternoon, in "What's Mitt Up to These Days?": Mitt Romney is at Disneyland, looking better than he did pumping gas this morning. On right: creepy Josh Romney.

It's a big day for the world's most eccentric billionaires: Disney has announced plans to open up membership to its super secret exclusive restaurant/probable sex thing Club 33 for the first time in ten years.

Disneyland was shut down for several hours today due to the presence of a "suspicious object." That object turned out to be a scroll with a peaceful message for park guests. Disneyland spokesperson Suzi Brown explains, "People can't do this. We take it seriously."

Mr. Glen Horlacher, 53, was arrested on Saturday after going on a "cursing tirade" outside Disney Land's Tower of Terror and then punching and kicking park employees and visitors. Happiest Place on Earth™? More like Punching-and-Cursingest Place on Earth™. (The action, such as it is, doesn't really start till around a minute into the clip.) Disney employees retaliated by turning Horlacher's face into the Pepper-Sprayiest Face on Earth™. [KABC]

Hollywood child bride Courtney Stodden turns 17 today, reducing the age gap with her creepy actor husband Doug Hutchison to a mere 34 years. Doug gave Courtney a shopping spree at Victoria's Secret and a trip to Disneyland for her birthday.

Some upbeat news for the Japanese tourism industry: The country may have just upgraded their ongoing nuclear disaster to Chernobyl-levels, but as of this coming Friday, Tokyo Disneyland will reopen its gates to visitors.

Today, the Disney Parks Christmas Parade took place in California and Florida. Naturally, the event closed with a performance of "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey—who sat down for much of it. Watch inside.

Disneyland has resolved the big controversy over its "no Muslim headscarves on employees" rule: workers can wear the hijab, as long as it's covered by a company-issued jaunty blue beret. Cruel. Would they make Christians wear that? Yes? Wow. [NYDN]

Sort of for the second time. Also today: Comic Con news from Joss Whedon, two movie stars want to work with Hilary Swank for some reason, TV shows shuffle their actors, and Justin Bieber is involved in a murder.

We all know there are an infinite number of web sites devoted to uncovering the hidden secrets of Disneyland. On Saturday, Eric Spiegalman found one they all missed: a racist map of California in the Main Street Railroad Station. Uh-oh!