Everyone thinks that fast food joints and chain restaurants in New York must be disgusting while five-star eateries are as spotless as their white tablecloths. New York City's Department of Healthy has found the exact opposite to be true.

Eater speculates on who Frank Bruni's replacement as the Times dining critic will be.

A tourist who recently dined at the Bull and Bear restaurant inside the Waldorf-Astoria claims that he found something foreign inside of his steak, something so vile and revolting that we can't even bring ourselves to say what it is.

Everybody already knows that the Hamptons is the universe's vortex of suck, but here's another reason why: Restaurant/club owners who, as a method of crowd control, roll up the awning sheltering the crowd outside waiting for tables during a downpour.

Today a blogger decided to have jerk chicken and mac-n-cheese for lunch at an East Village restaurant. He went inside, grabbed a seat, and seconds after his food was served, a hawk swooped in and landed on his plate.

This morning, Times food scribe Frank Bruni took on the troubling yet completely understandable—maybe even great?—sociological phenomenon of rich patrons at nice restaurants getting completely faced on wine that costs as much as your monthly paycheck and then doing stupid-awesome things like screwing in bathrooms and stripping in dining rooms.

Good news about former HBO head Chris Albrecht and his recent alleged chokee: Seems like they're going to make it work! Page Six reports that the throat-grabber "and gal pal Karla Jensen, 37, went out on the town last night, grabbing a bite at the Waverly Inn in TriBeCa." (TriBeCa! It's at Bank and Waverly! Like Page Six has never been?) Anyway, we're so happy that the two have been able to put this whole thing behind them. Eyewitnesses say the pair enjoyed the restaurant's famed $55 "smack and cheese." Yes, it's where the elite meet to beat! Oh we could go on!