Sophisticated soda connoisseurs drink Diet Mtn Dew. Average people drink Diet Coke. Then there are the loners, misfits, and weirdos, who drink Diet Pepsi. They’re always hollering about some obscure grievance.

Here’s the thing about nature: It will fuck up your shit.

Sure, you like drinking canned Diet Pepsi that was prepared who knows when from who knows what and shipped who knows how far who knows how long ago. But sometimes your Diet Pepsi gets that... not so fresh flavor. It's almost as if there's something—what's the word I'm looking for?—natural in there.