Deposed Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak and his family were hit with a travel ban and their assets inside Egypt were frozen today by the country's general prosecutor, according to Al Jazeera. The prosecutor's office issued a statement saying, "The decision today is acting on complaints received on wealth accumulated by the former president and his family." Around 80 million complaints of being ripped off and brutalized for three decades are finally starting to pay off, hopefully. Mubarak's slimy son Gamal and his wife are still said to be hiding out in London.

Did you know that today is a "Day of Rage" across the Muslim world, where bone-weary citizens are finally taking to the streets against their corrupt dictators? Seems like as good a time as any for Vogue to publish a fawning profile of the "glamorous, young, and very chic" wife of Syria's brutal tyrant, right?

Know why Hollywood shouldn't take money from the son of a repressive North African dictator, no matter how nice he seems? His dad might one day go even more batshit crazy and order the mass murder of his own people when they start demanding freedom. Then you're going to look like shitheads.

Embattled Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi hasn't just made a mess of his country. He's made more fashion faux pas than the Middle East has had wars since the beginning of time. Here are all the insanely outre outfits that would land him on the worst-dressed list, if putting him on that list wouldn't get you shot. [Photos via Getty, AP]

Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi expanded on his brief but legendary comments from yesterday in a much longer address to the nation today. He rambled for well over an hour about random stuff, much like he did in his first speech to the United Nations in 2009. For example: "It's impossible for the youth to follow anyone else. If not Qaddafi, who else would they follow? Somebody with a beard?" Yes. Wait, what?

What's former Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak up to? According to an Egyptian newspaper, he's been in a coma since Saturday and is "currently receiving medical treatment." The Egyptian government says that Mubarak has been in the resort town of Sharm al-Sheikh (and not in Germany or Saudi Arabia, as has been rumored) since his Thursday speech, during which, according to rumors, he fainted twice. Mubarak is 82, and underwent gall bladder surgery in Germany in 2010. [al-Arabiya]

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak spoke on Egyptian TV today and, as expected, announced that he wouldn't seek reelection. But he will stick around through an ill-specified "transfer of power," and may torture a few more people along the way.

No one has so far been able to prove that Kim Jong-il's son, Kim Jong-un, is being groomed to take over North Korea... until now. Analysts and defectors have concluded that Little Kim's new fur hat proves he's taking power.

Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier, the former Haitian dictator forced into exile in 1986, has returned to Haiti for the first time in 25 years. Why? No one knows. But it's probably totally innocent and non-sinister!

Venezuela has been hit by deadly floods and mudslides that have claimed at least 25 lives. This has prompted President Hugo Chávez to invite dozens of now-homeless Venezuelans to stay at his presidential palace until they are resettled. How benevolent!

Saddam Hussein's 269-foot yacht, Basra Breeze, which has been on the lam since the 1980s, is back in Iraq. Now the country's transportation minister, who enjoys using Saddam's toilet and sleeping in his bed, wants to make it a museum.

As has been speculated—but almost never documented—Kim Jong-Il is balding, his iconic pompadour but an elaborate combover. An Iranian photographer somehow slipped behind the Dear Leader during the weekend's anniversary hoopla and photographed it.

North Korea's next leader, Kim Jong-un, appeared on live television today with his dad, Kim Jong-il at a lavish military parade in Pyongyang that observers say is the largest ever there. Tanks! Missiles! Dancers! Dictators! Sounds like a great party.

This is the first official photo of Kim Jong Un, third son and likely successor of current Leader Kim Jong Il. (He's on the left). Remember this moment when he signs a peace accord in 2035 with President Snooki!

North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong-il promoted both his sister, Kim Kyong-hui, and his youngest son, Kim Jon-un to four start generals in a move that experts say is a precursor to the younger Kim taking control of the country.

Africa's last absolute monarch, King Mswati III of Swaziland, is threatening pro-democracy protesters with sipakatane, an elaborate method for beating feet that often renders the victim unable to walk. More about this terrible torture method—and King Mswati—below.

Fidel Castro wishes his fellow American enemy, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, would cool it with his anti-Semitism, he tells the Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg during a rare, interesting interview. Ahmadinejad probably won't listen. But nice of Castro to try! [Image: AP]

In response to this weekend's joint US-South Korean naval exercises in the Sea of Japan, North Korea today said it will launch a "sacred war" and use its "nuclear deterrent" to crush the imperialists and its puppet regime.

A Cuban blog has posted the first known photos of Fidel Castro in public since he fell ill four years ago and relinquished the presidency to his younger brother, Raúl. An angry Miami Herald editorial is forthcoming. [Washington Post; pic]

Despite developing an anti-aging super drink, North Korean leader Kim Jong-il is thinking about succession. The Workers' Party of Korea will hold a selection meeting in September and Kim's youngest son, Kim Jong-un, is thought to be next in line.