Monday nights usually mean three things for Team Party Crash - half a carafe of rosé, several viewings of "Sister Act" and an abiding feeling of anger at John McEnroe for letting Tatum get messed up on pills. But as TPC solemly vowed to our social worker last week, tonight was going to be different. We were going to Odeon to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the publication of Jay McInerney's Bright Lights, Big City, and Lil' Tatie was going too! Staff photographer Eliot Shepard reports.

Sorry for the delay this morning, my dears, but, well, my group therapy ran a little late. We were all talking about our feelings and shit, and suddenly I was crying, and some guy named Herb was holding my hand and I was so not ready to open up to him...but, like, you know. I had to gather myself together and rediscover my acerbicity and whatnot.

1. Charlie Kaufman answers your questions about the crackling sexual tension between him and Catherine Keener after a screening of Being John Malkovich at the ArcLight. Tonight's show is sold out, but this Kaufman "retrospective" (for a screenwriter, four produced movies is like, five careers) continues tomorrow with Adaptation and finishes on Thursday with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And yes, it's just like Human Nature never existed.
2. Beastie Boys record-scratcher Mixmaster Mike spins at an Amoeba in-store appearance. Try and be gracious if Ad-Rock and the boys don't show up.
3. Visit the Sci-Fi/Fantasy Pageant at the M Bar where comics Brendon Small, Chris Hardwick, Mike Phirman and Lee Farber put on Tron: The Rock Opera. Is there any way something with that title can't be thoroughly awesome? [scroll down to the comedy listing]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let BenGar know that the sign in the Poquito Mas window doesn't protect them from your hungry eyeballs.

An operative sends us these cam-phone shots from the window of the Poquito Mas on the corner of Westwood and Olympic, where she often spots her "arch-nemesis" Ben Affleck grabbing some takeout. We suspect the gawker-deflecting signage was a more cost-effective solution than rolling a camera-proof jetway up to the door every time he and JenGar get a jones for a burrito. There's a close-up of the sign (and a transcription for those with subpar computer screens) after the jump.

1. Celebrate Paper magazine's two decades of discussing things that make us feel impossibly uncool and out of touch as its founders read from 20 Years of Style: The World According to PAPER at Book Soup.
2. George Carlin will be at Borders on the 3rd St Promenade to sign his latest book, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Don't expect any Hunter S. Thompson antics—we think Carlin's wilder days are well behind him, but at least he'll probably swear a lot.
3. Music round-up: Helmet thrashes at the Troubadour, while PJ Harvey thrashes somewhat less at the Wiltern. (Both hit the same venues tomorrow night.) And continuing our relentless plugging of free shows for our less liquid friends, Eskimohunter and Marjorie Fair do the shoegazing thing at Silverlake Lounge.

A spy snaps a cam-phone picture of Henry Winkler at a Sunday night showing of Take Me Out, no doubt needing to settle the "Jeremy Sisto: Cut or Uncut?" debate for himself. And if we learned anything from Happy Days, it's that the Fonz would never be caught dead in a turtleneck.

With the most important election in the history of people voting for things right around the corner, it's comforting to know that certain members of the Hollywood elite take their civic responsibilities seriously and ensure that their voices are heard before they go out of town to earn their staggering paychecks.

Friday
1. Is it basketball season yet? Former Lakers Coach Phil Jackson signs The Last Season at Vroman’s
Bookstore in Pasadena, and we're sure he'll be anxious to answer all of your Kobe-related questions. If books aren't your thing, Magic Johnson hosts the official Lakers Vs. Clippers afterparty at The Highlands.
2. In the worst-guarded secret since Elvis Costello's Amoeba appearance earlier this week, Jimmy Eat World is playing at the weekly Bloc Party at 1650 Schrader.
Saturday
3. See how many egos can fit into one room at Vanity Fair “In Concert” at the Wiltern with Camp Freddy. The all-star band featuring Dave Navarro, Billy Morrison, Matt Sorum and Donovan Leitch perform with guests Macy Gray and Stephen Jenkins.
4. Doesn't it seems like there is one of these events every day? The 9th Annual Angelus Awards Student Film Festival take place at the Directors Guild of America.
5. Sasha at Avalon spins mad beats that make you sweat till you bleed. Or something like that.
Sunday
6. The Gay & Lesbian Sports Alliance of Greater L.A. hawks used porn for the greater good. Donations still needed! [sixth item]

We're pausing for a moment to thank this week's sponsor, without whom we'd probably be minding a studio head's stepchildren in exchange for staying in a cramped pool-house. If you'd like to get your hands on the influential consumers that only Defamer can deliver, see this page.

A lingering, loving glance at this week's advertisers, without whom we'd be cold and lonely. Interested? Info here.

1. Ben Folds plays the El Rey. You can pretend you don’t like Ben Folds since he's shed the "Five," but you'd just be in denial. He just put out an entire record with William Shatner. All solo artist sins are forgiven.
2. Join Larry Flynt at Borders in Westwood for a "thought-provoking" evening discussing his new book, Sex, Lies, and Politics. Come for the presidential election talk, stay for the tales of golden showers!
3. Director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell do the ArcLight screening-and-Q&A thing for their brilliantly promoted horror flick, Saw. With any luck, the question session will devolve into prank phone calls to Lloyd Grove.

It's always a proud day in any virtual company's life when one of its blogs makes the jump from passive porn observer to full-blown porn distributor. Knuckle-shuffling sister site Fleshbot is now nobly peddling the lost Ed Wood smut extravaganza Necromania through Fleshbot Films. (You may remember Johnny Depp's portrayal of the maverick director, years before Depp decided to ride a Keith Richards impersonation to an Oscar nomination.) And you know Necromania is the classy kind of hardcore film, because the New Yorker wrote about it.

—It's one thing to ruminate on the timeless "Lindsay Lohan: Fake or Real?" question, but it's quite another to write a song about it. And when you set that song to some disturbing animation, well, you've really crossed the line. [via Screenhead]
—The NY Daily News' Lloyd Grove solidifies his position as the preeminent expert on Mary-Kate Olsen's current stay in Los Angeles.
—Toronto's Better Living Centre blog details the runaway productions shooting in "Hollywood North." Are they trying to taunt us with tales of low-budget Shannon Elizabeth movies on the loose in Canada? We're e-mailing the Governator right away.
—I Heart Huckabees character Tommy Corn has a blog. Or he had a blog, since he's seriously slacked off since late September. Shouldn't promotional blogs have a better work ethic? [via Blogging.la]

1. If you’re the type that enjoys half-naked women in trashy underwear (and really, who isn't?) you might want to pencil in the Second Annual Frederick’s of Hollywood Lingerie Art Auction and Fashion Show on your calendar. Susan Sarandon is hosting, but we can't guarantee that she'll be rocking the catwalk in a frilly thong or sequined corset.
2. Eddie Izzard, the funniest cross-dresser since J. Edgar Hoover, performs at the Comedy Store.
3. Concert round-up: Rachael Yamagata at the El Rey; Drive By Truckers at the Troubadour; Edwin McCain at House of Blues; Ours at Spaceland.
4. Tonight's Game 7 ALCS Armageddon between the Yankees and Red Sox will have Fox executives happily awaiting the overnight Nielsen ratings, while completely ignoring the elevated suicide numbers from the east coast.

We realize that you can't really identify Adam "Seth Cohen" Brody in this photo, but we felt it was necessary to applaud the effort. Our spy swears to have circled the block four times to get visual confirmation of Brody's meal at King's Road Cafe on Beverly, snapped this cam-phone picture, and then painstakingly labeled it for us in MS Paint. Tenacity like this must be recognized, lest it fester and later manifest itself as stalking, and nobody wants that. [Note to our shutterbug friend: We kid!] You can click the picture to get a better look.

Our debased little brother Fleshbot is experiencing the most wonderful tingle in his extremities (today more so than usual), as both film and pornography scholars come together for Ed Wood's notorious 1971 smut endeavor, Necromania. Fleshbot Films is proudly releasing a remastered version on DVD on October 25, available for pre-order now. And yes, we're proudly plugging hardcore cult cinema.
Necromania [Fleshbot]

—Porn stars hold forth on the Bill O'Reilly fiasco, but somehow manage not to involve falafel in the discussion. Maybe that's what he saw in the back room of the Thai sex show.
—Kabbalah update: Demi Moore to throw a book party in London; Madonna readies the launch of her next thinly-veiled Kabbalah propaganda children's story, about a boy named Ted String who raises money through overpriced self-help classes to save the world from a giant, bloodshot, evil eyeball.
—"A limo arrived and Sam waved his dirty cowboy hat from the sunroof. Part of me wished I could leave Mali-Cali myself, but I have promises to keep, as Robert Frost wisely wrote." We really don't know if Nick Nolte's Diary is legit or not, but with sentences like these, we find ourselves not really caring.
—Even the AP wants to put a thumb in the eye of the post-Friends Jeff Zucker and his formerly Must See TV lineup. OK, they don't mention him by name, but we know oblique shots at tarnishing golden boys when we seem them.

1. Shhh,you didn't hear it from us, but Elvis Costello is playing a supposedly secret, not-so-surprise in-store show at Amoeba Records at 6 p.m. Better start lining up now to avoid listening from the back of the DVD section on the second floor.
2. Running with Scissors and Dry author Augusten Burroughs is reading from his new book, Magical Thinking: True Stories at Skylight Books. Go and feel better about your own childhood, since it's probably not as messed up as Burroughs' was.
3. Troublemaker/novelist/punk icon Neal Pollack makes another local appearance for Never Mind the Pollacks, this time at The Grove's Barnes and Noble at 7:30 p.m. We have it on pretty good authority that he might try and cause a ruckus. One can only hope that shirtlessness is involved.
4. Showing that adult beverages and rock magazines can peacefully come together, Absolut and Spin co-sponsor a party at Star Shoes. Los Angeles locals Earlimart perform. Hipsters, shoe aficionados, and cross-promotional marketing fans alike can rejoice.