We in the journalism field suffer the daily indignities of a dying industry, so sometimes our bosses try and cheer us up, usually with room temperature pizza sitting in clotted pools of grease. Bad pizza is better than some alternatives, though, such as the cake recently served to some staffers of The Oregonian which caused their bodies to spew shit like a punctured oil pipe.

Last year, the Washington Post reported that participating in trendy tough-guy mud runs often comes with a painful case of abdominal cramps and diarrhea brought on by literally eating shit—fecal bacteria mixed in with the mud. More than a thousand people are suffering those ill effects after a popular French event last week. (Not so tough now, are you?)

Well, it looks like Kim Kardashian's nude photos broke the internet after all.

Under the brilliant headline "The latest obstacle in obstacle racing is bloody diarrhea," the Washington Post reports that the growing trend of competitive obstacle course running—now practiced by 1.5 million people—comes with a growing trend of falling in the mud and catching a mouthful of animal feces.

Miracles happen everywhere, if you only know where to look. Sometimes you have to look in diarrhea.

Today we heard from donkey semen swallower Brynne Odioso, who said knocking back a glass of viscous donkey spooge is "the sickest thing you can ever imagine."

Taco Bell is facing a class action suit over claims that the company's taco meat is only 36% actual beef, along with "extenders" and other crap. The company has now taken out a "snarky" ad to defend its Secret Recipe.

The March issue of Men's Journal (not online yet; subscribe, why don't you?) features a cover story on Josh Brolin, the mustachioed leading man who is stalked by Javier Bardem in "No Country For Old Men." As if that wasn't exciting enough, the story is written by child-loving Josh Stein nemesis Neal Pollack! Pollack doesn't get a chance to talk about his kids in the piece, but he does throw in some mentions of Brolin's kids, like this telling, priceless anecdote: "We did this one trip to Scotland. Just me and my kids. We had absolutely no plan...We used to have a running joke where I'd yell, 'Where do you wanna sleep tonight?' and the kids would yell, 'We don't care!'" Hahahahaha! We mention this by way of pointing out that this is potentially the least insightful celebrity profile in any magazine so far in 2008. Brolin picks Pollack up, they get stuck in traffic, they drive to Palmdale, they eat tacos, they go home. This is a completely accurate summary. Judge for yourself by this post-taco excerpt, which is, without exaggeration, the crowning achievement of Pollack's story: