A single bird is believed to be responsible for the strike that tore a large chunk out of the nose of United Airlines flight bound for Denver.

Reddit user "themurderator" posted a series of images of himself after he was wounded in last night's Dark Knight shootings in Aurora, Colorado.

Police have one suspect in custody after 12 people were shot and killed during a late-night showing of The Dark Knight Rises at an Aurora, Colo., movie theater early this morning.

The children of Colfax Elementary school in Denver thought they were just going to hear their boring old Governor, John Hickenlooper, talk about reading. Instead, he made a hilarious blooper, introducing his Lt. Gov. Joe Garcia as a 'rising sex star' at a literacy event on Wednesday.

Everybody is talking about Tim Tebow. Except for you. Who is Tim Tebow? you're asking yourself, after spending 10 minutes nodding silently while coworkers discussed his game this weekend against the Patriots. (What sport is this? you are probably also asking. For the record: football.) It's okay, non sports fan: here is your exclusive guide to Tim Tebow.

Everyone's a critic! Especially Carmen Tisch of Denver, who really does not like abstract expressionist Clyfford Still very much, and expressed that displeasure by punching his painting "1957-J no.2." And also rubbing her butt on it.

Denver Mayor Michael Hancock insisted that his city's occupation name a leader in order "to deal with City and State officials." And he got his wish! Occupy Denver has elected Shelby, a border collie, as its leader. Long live Shelby!

A pair of Coloradans have been charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft, and criminal impersonation for loading their dead friend's body into the backseat of their car, then using his ATM card to finance a night of bar- and strip-club-hopping. The cause of death has not yet been determined.

A Denver suburb has made the preemptive decision to shut off two large fountains outside Dick's Sporting Goods Park — aka "The Dick" — where Phish will play over Labor Day weekend. But Commerce City mayor Paul Natale wants to be clear that this isn't a measure to, say, keep Phish fans from rinsing off their dirty hippie nether-regions during periodic lulls in 79-minute, freestyle versions of "Runaway Jim."

County fairs, with animals and cheap rides and fried dough? Meh. But what if you added... irony? That would make something worth having, in Denver! I mean, just to pick a paragraph of this story at random:

It's hard to really put one's finger on the precise moment a trend dies. Is it when you get your first photo of your mom planking on the washing machine? Or when adult soapbox derbies are profiled in a piece about the Portlandification of Brooklyn? Or, perhaps, when someone robs a cupcake store in Denver by waving around a syringe filled with HIV-positive blood? Yes, I do believe that last one would do it.

It's hot, huh? The whole country is burning up. Make sure you stay cool out there! Especially make sure that you don't get heatstroke, bite a zookeeper, attack a police officer, and get yourself killed by the cops.

After living in the same apartment for 30 years, Jeannetta Holden—a 59-year-old grandma and great-grandma who likes houseplants and cooking—has received an eviction notice from her landlord, who claims she's been selling drugs, shooting guns, and hanging with gangs. Supposedly police reports prove everything.

[Lydia Vasquez scrapes ice from the windshield of her car in Denver on Monday. Image via AP]

As the friendliest rock and roll dinosaur of the late 1980s, Denver hung out in an interracial community and was so anti-violence he received the National Education Association recommendation (Yet we still haven't discovered how to travel through time).

Whatever you do, don't talk trash about Yelp users. If you do—like Denver chef Scott Parker recently did—then they'll do one of two things:

There have been conflicting stories from the son of a sheriff's deputy who was beaten by Denver cops in 2009, and the cops who beat him on video. According to two eyewitnesses: "It was very, very vulgar. It was brutal."

This week we showed you the video of the 2009 beating of Michael DeHerrera by Denver police—who were upset he was making a phone call while they beat his friend. Guess who he was calling? His dad, a cop.

Dan Maes, a silly Republican running for Colorado governor, says that his potential Democratic challenger, Denver mayor John Hickenlooper, is "converting Denver into a United Nations community" via his efforts to promote bike-riding, which "could threaten our personal freedoms." Seriously.

The official residence of the mayor of Denver has a fire pole in the master bedroom, a pink grand piano, and "mini-condominiums for squirrels." Sweetest mayor's house ever, right? So why is Denver selling it?