Disconcerting news: Patron Saint of Eastside Good-Time Drunkenness Kiefer Sutherland has put his bachelor's paradise up for sale, the Real Estalker blog informs us. Located in a converted foundry on N. Madison (that's Melrose just west of Virgil—hey, we can spit there!), the 14,400 sq. foot warehouse space cost him $700,000 to purchase, and—outfitted with "three bedrooms and four bathrooms...25 foot ceilings and polished concrete floor...[and] curtained off areas that function as an art/painting studio and a home gym set up"—it's now available to you, the Kiefer-Stalking Person or Persons of Means, for a mere $4,895,000. Did we mention it's walking distance to Ye Rustic? Look: We've even Google Mapped it for you! Take a photo tour after the jump:Before you begin sobbing between self-pitying bites of Myrtle Burger—positive the listing means we'll see a reduction in Kiefer's legendary pub-crawling exploits in the area—we'll leave you with this thought: You can take Kiefer out of Silver Lake, but you can never take the Silver Lake out of Kiefer. Whoever buys this property, perhaps some Arabian sultan seriously obsessed with 24, we hereby commission you to erect a wonky-looking-Kiefer mural on its facade. Enjoy the tour.

Crash-survivor Ryan Phillippe has recently invested in some real estate—a sprawling, 8,300 square-foot mansion in the Hollywood Hills, to be exact, which reportedly cost the actor $7,175,000. Some details from the LAT:

Of the many coastal wellness centers catering to Hollywood's well-monied, well-coke-dealered set, perhaps none swaths its patients in luxury like Renaissance Malibu ("Where currency is for spending, not rolling into little straws."™). The facility—which counts the likes of Daniel Baldwin among its celebrity failures—is now up for sale: a 14,000-square-foot mansion in the neo-Virginia-tobacco-plantation style that's so much in vogue, sitting on an expansive lot of prime Malibu property. (A virtual tour comes courtesy of Radar.) The price? A mere $23.75 million, a piddling sum in exchange for the thrill of living out your wildest Richie Rich rehab fantasies. (Group therapy counsellor Irona not included.)

Because Defamer is committed to making its readers aware of exciting local real estate opportunities each time a red-hot tip lands in our inbox, we direct you to this listing announcing the availability of an historic two-bed/two-bath property nestled in a highly desirable cranny of Laurel Canyon:

For a young actor making his way in Hollywood, nothing quite says "I've arrived" like plunking down your sitcom earnings for a first home in the Hills—a bachelor crib of one's own that can accomodate both raucous, hot-tub-mixer casting sessions, and quiet, introspective moments in a sauna-equipped oasis from the showbiz rat race. That's what this Beachwood Canyon home has offered former That 70s Show star Danny Masterson, a residence which can now belong to you, as the actor has decided to address his cramped-living-space thetans by putting it on the market. Our square-footage-obsessed pals at Curbed LA have some of the details: