"Hey, Hymie! Wanna get in on the best deal of the fall? Shh, c'mere. I've got a pair of tickets to the High Holiday services at Temple Emanu-El — you know, the one that Spitzer and Bloomberg go to — that I'm willing to part with at a major loss! You will not find a better deal than this all season, Jewish word of honor! Everyone knows that God only listens your prayers if you're praying alongside famous people! Don't be a schmuck your whole life, snap up these scalped temple tickets today!" Actually, we didn't even need to go with a joke on this one. The Craigslist pitch alone is enough.