A fairly subdued (compared to her now-defunct Myspace profile) Deena Nicole walked the VMA red carpet last night. Inside, she gives a diplomatic answer to the Ronnie and Sammie two-state solution and defends Snooki's honor.

Meet Deena Nicole Cortese, a 23-year-old friend of Snooki's from New Egypt, New Jersey. According to her defunct MySpace profile (don't worry, we've got screenshots) she is "ADDiCTiVE & ExPENiIV3 LiK3 COCAiNE!" She is America's newest court jester.