Another old leak from JournoList, the late off-the-record listserve of liberal pundits, has proven that leftists control all media! Some bloggers were apparently so upset with a 2008 debate that they conspired to write an open letter.

What did our cousins in Britain do last night while eating their nightly meal of fish and chips? They watched the final pre-election debate between the leaders of the three major parties, of course! And guess who won?

There are indeed two sides to "the Confederacy debate"—the side that committed treason in order to protect the institution of slavery, and the side of America. Next on CNN: Pearl Harbor—did we have it coming?

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens has a problem! It's not that he was found guilty of seven felony corruption charges, and that he faces reelection just next week, and the entire Republican party is calling on him to resign. No, it's that he's stuck in Washington DC getting convicted of crimes and he can't debate his opponent, who is in Alaska! The solution? They are just going to dump this debate on the internet, as if it was a big truck. And the debate will get in line, and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material. [HuffPo]

So when you watch the debates, do you stick around for the analysts and pundits afterwards? Do you find out how Chris Matthews and David Gergen and Larry King felt? Do you need to find out what the conventional wisdom is before you go to bed? Figure out the narrative, find out who "won" in the eyes of the newsmedia? You don't need to bother anymore. All three debates this year have followed the exact same script: the expectations set by the campaigns are self-contradictory and confused, the debates seem boring and repetitive, and following each one pundits agree that John McCain won "on points," whatever that means. Then the snap polls come in! Last night, Andrea Mitchell tentatively tried to claim, once again, that McCain won "on points," everyone agreed that McCain was feistier and got better zingers in, everyone fixated on the "I'm not George Bush" line as the best of the debates, Joe the Plumber was supposed to be the story of the day, and overall everyone wanted a narrative shift to a McCain comeback, because that's a better story. But the voters didn't care. CBS undecideds: Obama 53, McCain 22. CNN poll: Obama 58, McCain 31. MediaCurves independents: Obama 60, McCain 30. John King tried to explain away his own poll's bias toward Democrats even as the independents they polled when for Obama by 26 points. This is bad news for pundits! Because one very important role a pundit is supposed to play is recognizing and explaining the mood of the nation. They are supposed to predict, based on their experience and wisdom, what voters want to hear and what they will respond to. And this season, they've been dead fucking wrong, over and over again. But more importantly, the numbers are proving them wrong objectively, and they're forced to correct themselves immediately. In previous election cycles, the numbers could say it was a narrow Gore victory or statistical tie, but the punditry could shift those numbers over a weekend through relentless repetition of the narrative they invented, making it a lopsided Bush gain by Monday. It's much, much harder for Maureen Dowd to control—or even reflect—the "narrative" of the campaign now, because the internet makes all the raw data available and everyone has access to it. We never intend to write a "hooray the internet is correcting and democratizing the MSM" piece but in this instance it does seem to be a useful corrective to the tendency of people like Chris Matthews to mistake their own fevered imaginations for the mood of a nation.

During the debate last night, Senator McCain repeatedly talked directly to some magical blue collar hero named Joe the Plumber. If this "Joe the Plumber" bullshit had any resonance (beyond with pundits who assume viewers and voters are so much dumber than them) it was probably tossed out the window once McCain said "hey Joe, you're rich. Congratulations." He said like at least twice, didn't he? (McCain always repeats his practiced zingers, which is a terrible habit.) Of course only in Matt Drudge's wet dreams did Joe the Plumber resonate with Ohio swing voters to begin with. He's a plumber, sure, respectable blue collar work. But honestly, right now, in this climate, how many voters exactly personally relate to a guy who's planning on buying a business? Oh no, Senator Obama might stop Pete the Locksmith from flipping his house and buying that Land Rover! And that was before it was revealed that Joe the Plumber might be a Republican plant! This Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher already talks like a GOP pundit (he's got the accidental casual racism down!), and his aw shucks willingness to repeat ancient class war talking points to every camera in sight is actually a bit suspicious for a random voter, but the most important thing about Joe Wurzelbacher is his last name: it's the same as the last name of Charles Keating's son-in-law! Keating's son-in-law, Robert Wurzelbacher, served a 40-month prison sentence in 1993 in connection with Keating's Lincoln Savings and Loan collapse. Since then, who knows what he's been up to, but there is a Robert Wurzelbacher who lives just outside of Cincinnati, owns a wood company, and donates to Republicans. Meanwhile there is a Joseph Wurzelbacher who owns a painting company in Cincinnati! Along with a septic tank repair company! These dots were all connected by a DailyKos diarist, who has no proof that Joe and Robert Wurzelbacher are related, but, you know, it's suspicious. The Wurzelbvacher connection was also made, amusingly, by this right-wing satirical blogger. But regardless of whether Joe the Plumber is a Republican plant or not, one thing is for certain: he's not actually voting for McCain. Because the asshole isn't actually registered. Update: Joe the Plumber doesn't pay taxes. At all. He is registered to vote though! But if there's a typo in his registration, which seems possible, his provisional ballot will probably be thrown away. Hah.

Sure, John McCain is a MAVERICK, but there is, as many voters have learned, a flipside to that. The Republican presidential nominee can be impulsive and temperamental, and it's only been getting worse toward the end of the campaign, making past incidents, like his hollering at Times reporter Elisabeth Bumiller or his meltdown in front of the New Republic's Jeff Dearth, look like part of a very real pattern. Last night's debate was probably the last straw. McCain posted his worst-yet ratings in the post-debate polls, with his numbers falling most sharply, within live-reaction panels, in the wake of his comments on William Ayers, ACORN and opponent Barack Obama's alleged negative campaigning (which voters were predisposed not to believe). His incessant face-pulling, insane blinking and cranky interrupting (see videos after the jump) were equally destructive to his cause.

After three presidential debates, everyone has a pretty good idea of what they'll be able to mock (gently at first) about their next president. For George W. Bush it was his cocky, frat-boy persona and mispronunciations. That stopped being funny real fast. If Barack Obama wins, mockery will get more difficult, but he does tend to start sentences with "I believe" this and "I think" that. So arrogant and elitist, God! Plus, the ears. John McCain, meanwhile, says "my friends" too much and, especially tonight, blinks like a maniac. How erratic! Also, he pulls all kinds of just weird sarcastic faces when he's not interrupting people, as seen in the graphic at left, which appears to have already been crafted from tonight's footage. (In came from somewhere on Tumblr, but we don't yet know who made it.) McCain may be behind in the polls, but Saturday Night Live should really be in the tank, in its own self-interest.

Do you hear that? It's the sound of dozens of campaign reporters working the phones in a desperate attempt to scare up the first reaction quote from about Joe Wurzelbacher, aka Joe The Plumber, a small business owner who pointedly questioned Barack Obama on the campaign trail and became an incessant talking point for John McCain in tonight's otherwise boring presidential debate. McCain once again failed to deliver a performance that will help him steal supporters away from frontrunner Obama. Sure, his "I am not George Bush" line was a nice zinger that will be talked about tomorrow, but his Joe The Plumber fetish is far more fascinating.

The most important thing to remember about tonight's Presidential Debate is that if you want to watch it you'll need to Tivo Project Runway. Also kindly old Bob Sheiffer will moderate and the candidates will be sitting down, at a table. Sheiffer is a genial old Texan who is probably a Republican and therefore is in the tank for McCain but that won't actually make any sort of difference. Barack Obama double-dared John McCain to make Ayers accusations to his face and McCain promised that he would but honestly we won't be surprised if he doesn't bring it up explicitly. The debates exist in their own parallel universe outside the headlines so don't expect too much substantive difference in subjects covered and arguments made. But it still might be better than last week! Because they're sitting down. Debates where the candidates sit at the same table almost always feautre more lively discussion than the boring podium ones. The candidates have a harder time delivering speeches to an audience or to the camera and they sometimes accidentally engage in discussion with each other. Or they just snipe back and forth, like Cheney and John Edwards in 2004. (That debate was awesome. GAY DAUGHTERS FOR EVERYONE!) Who knows what crazy tactic or stunt McCain will try but it will probably fall flat. Obama will be serious and cool like before. If Obama's current lead is momentum than that momentum will increase. If it is a high that will tighten as we get closer to election day (our theory!) it will tighten a bit. And you know even if it is interesting it probably won't "matter" except in the only way the last two debates "mattered": as part of the ritual of finally deciding that one of these jokers will be ok to see on tv for the next four years. The end!!!

The sad thing about tonight's debate is that the candidates will be seated, at a table, so we won't get to see McCain wandering around again. But, you know, he will still be speaking, so we imagine we'll get a couple moments along the lines of the ones collected in this video. It's McCain's Lovable Senior Moments, like when he called a questioner "you little jerk" (funny!) and when Joe Lieberman had to whisper in his ear the difference between Sunnis and Shiites (hilarious!). Intern Stephanie Dooley compiled the clip, so please send your accusations of terrible ageism to her. (Or just get over it!)

You have seen the "my friends" roundup, incessant repeats of the "that one" clip, perhaps watched the "Tom Brokaw complains about time" montage, reveled in examples of McCain's ill-advised joking and smiling and doing that lizard tongue thing, and of course you're familiar with the weird non-handshake thing at the end. But here and only here will you find the best debate video edit of all: the "McCain kinda shuffles around the room like an old guy" collection! Watch as he sorta wobbles to and fro! Thrill as he attempts a natural, casual gait despite the rebellion of every aged joint his body! Feel sorry for him despite yourself as he acts tired, oh so tired, this isn't how it was supposed to be, this isn't how it was supposed to be at all, just tired, Cindy, let's go home, please.

Both candidates went into the debates with the goal of looking Already President. Because many Americans simply wanted to believe they could trust the new guy, Obama won the first debate on those terms. Last night, it became clear that Obama's strategy was to spend the first debate as a calm, respectful presence and to open up more distinctions between the two candidates in the second. It also became clear that McCain's strategy was to assume he just couldn't possibly be losing to that punk kid. Conservatives are miserable that McCain lost last night. He pissed away the election! It was his last shot at winning! He never delivered the knock-out blow! He'd lost it already. Seriously. What could he have done, last night, that would've been a game-changer? Anything? He tried a stunt—"the Treasury Department will buy all the mortgages!"—but it just sounded like a stunt (also that is a great way to remind Republicans that they never liked you to begin with, by proposing a plan to the left of Obama). He was a little bit nicer, a bit jokier, but also much more critical of Obama in ways that made more sense than last time. What else could he have done? Magically appear 20 years younger? The only way to win this year on policy is to run to the left of the Democrats and the only way to win on character is to be more youthful and serious and new and comfortably familiar than Obama. McCain lost before he showed up. Once he showed up he looked old and tired. It'd be cruel to hand that man the presidency in a time like this. Tina Brown: "During the campaign McCain has aged dramatically. Like Dorian Gray, the bargains he has made with his conscience are reflected in the mirror. He has developed a strange Jimmy Cagney rasp and new verbal eccentricities that seem to have fused the speaking styles of Bob Dole and Ross Perot." John Heilemann: "He rattled around onstage looking slightly lost, making hokey jokes that fell flat in the hall, offering edgy barbs at Obama (and even Tom Brokaw!), and telling hoary stories that referenced Ronald Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt, Tip O'Neill, and Herbert Hoover - historically significant figures who reinforced the image of the Arizona senator as yesterday's man." Rich Lowry: "I thought McCain was good. It's as passionate and well-informed as he's ever been on domestic policy. His debate briefers did their job well. I think he repeatedly scored points in the first hour, but they were jabs rather then crosses-blows that Obama could absorb." And it should be noted that at The Corner they are convinced the only way McCain could've won this was to bring up William Ayers over and over and over again, to paint Obama as a radical leftist and to somehow get Real Americans to Wake Up and realize that this guy isn't who he says he is. Fittingly, their dissatisfaction with their mediocre candidate totally mirrors McCain's obvious shock that people are taking this Obama guy seriously. And now that Obama's favorables are so high, now that everyone is pretty sure they do know this guy (the time to paint him as something foreign and secretly scary came months ago, and Obama passed that test just fine), trying to scare voters away from him just demonstrates your contempt for their judgment. You know, the sort of contempt liberals were all accused of feeling because we couldn't believe anyone would've voted for Bush. Everyone hates the voters! We're pretty sure there isn't a "game-changer" of any kind available to the McCain campaign, and the best they can hope for is some sort of catastrophic meltdown by Obama. We're also pretty sure our debate preview was totally right!

Tom Brokaw was determined last night that he wasn't going to put up with any crap from presidential candidates or their running mates, who had their way with previous debate moderators Jim Lehrer and Gwen Ifill. So every time John McCain or Barack Obama broke one of the debate rules, Brokaw delivered a verbal slap. The NBC News commentator got increasingly frustrated with infractions as the night wore on, but both candidates seemed to be on their best behavior yet, even when Brokaw rather oddly insisted they yield a heated moment to a question from the entire internet.

John McCain at least made eye contact with Barack Obama during tonight's presidential debate. But that seemed to be about all the pleasantry he could manage. First he called Obama "that one." Now blogs are burning up with chatter that McCain also refused Obama's post-debate handshake, pointing him to wife Cindy instead.

One might expect a right-wing shouting head like Bill O'Reilly to help the Republican Party ratchet down expectations for John McCain ahead of tonight's presidential debate. But the Fox News Channel host is raising the stakes. A few minutes before the debate started, O'Reilly said the event will mark the Republican presidential nominee's "last stand." "McCain has to do well tonight, or say goodbye," he added. We're still pretty sure there's a scheme here — O'Reilly's probably got an easy definition of "well" — but this makes it all the more difficult for McCain to spin if he does poorly. Click the video icon to watch the clip. (PS: The commenter liveblog is here in case you missed it.)

It will be boring. John McCain will be friendly and upbeat to questioners but still cold to Obama. Obama will be well-prepared and not at all nasty, again. McCain's shot at the presidency will continue to gradually escape him, leaving him increasingly tortured and miserable. Update: Come back here at 9 for the liveblog!

KFC is terribly concerned about starving third world children's lack of access to Original Recipe® buckets and Crispy Twisters®! So the chicken chain is offering a cool $20,000 to solve world hunger—if one of the presidential candidates mentions the issue at the debates tomorrow. 1. What a skimpy amount to offer. 2. The purest form of charity is that which is given anonymously, not that which is accompanied by a gimmicky TV ad. 3. If they don't mention it, will KFC just let the kids starve? Watch the trite attempt to glom onto the news cycle below; thankfully, the ad is silent:

Yesterday we told you the media heiress and fervent Sarah Palin fan Emily Brill was planning an exclusive party to watch the VP debates and live blog them, for some reason. As a salve to the wounded egos of those of you unable to attend, Guest of a Guest caught up with Emily for an awkward sidewalk interview about life and politics that somehow just makes our outlook on this nation even bleaker. "You still have no idea. Trust me," writes Emily. If only we could. Watch it after the jump, while weeping:

So 40 million people watched Joe Biden be his usual affable self and Sarah Palin look terrified and panicky as she struggled to finish every 90 second answer. Wow! That's more than any debate since 1992, when Ross Perot was more entertaining than anything else on television! Also this is a hilarious paragraph: