Lecherous bisexuality victim Ashton Kutcher reportedly attempted to win back the affections of his fair maiden Demi Moore by gifting her with a $100,000 Lexus just two days before International Demi Moore's Birthday Day, celebrated the world over on November 11.

Georgia father Eugene Ashley pleaded guilty this week to tattooing his three-year-old son with the initials "DB"—short for "Daddy's Boy." Really, dude? "DB"? You couldn't have come up with something better than that?

Keith Olbermann has suspended his Twitter account because some people keep accusing him of being a rape apologist. Have you no decency, Twitter? At long last, have you no decency? Good day, Twitter. Good. Day.