[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

From the cancer-stricken title character of Brian's Song to the broken-footed novelist of Misery (don't even get us started on The Godfather), James Caan knows a thing or two about suffering onscreen. So naturally we're stunned to learn that the "creative differences" that irreparably fractured the actor's relationship with David O. Russell on the set of Nailed came down to... the proper way to choke on a cookie? "Russell asked him to cough as he choked, but Caan argued that the character couldn't cough and choke to death at the same time," wrote Gregg Goldstein today in The Hollywood Reporter. "Russell suggested that they shoot it both ways, but the actor expressed distrust that his version would be considered and left the South Carolina set." Caan's replacement has yet to be determined, but will be screened carefully by the newly wary Russell for his knowledge of (and loose adherance to) basic physiological functions. [THR]

While running through LAX yesterday, temperamental star Jake Gyllenhaal made a call to both his manager and agent to complain about the size of the airport. Gyllenhaal felt that the airport was too big and that more airports should have a downhome feel like John Wayne does. Gyllenhaal then complained that the security officer who helped the actor through the airport spent too much time asking him how his flight was and not enough fending off the paparazzi. Gyllenhaal then demanded that his agents set up a meeting with Diablo Cody, mainly because he wanted to see how long it would take for him to get her naked. Gyllenhaal then paused for a moment to catch his breath and, when he did, he finally came to his senses and fell directly to the floor. Once on the floor, Gyllenhaal rested in a fetal position and whispered into his phone: "I can't do work with David O. Russell anymore. I can't. I want Fincher back. I want to do take after take for ten hours straight."

James Caan and Jake Gyllenhaal are the latest casualties of David O. Russell's tastefully hands-on directing style, which this week resulted in the Caan's departure from and Gyllenhaal's apparent whimpering around the set of Russell's latest film, Nailed. As reported today, Caan walked out after "creative differences" with the tempestuous filmmaker best known for berating Lily Tomlin while shooting I Heart Huckabees (or is it for fighting George Clooney during Three Kings? It's always been too close for us to call).

· David O. Russell's next movie, a romantic comedy called Nailed, adds James Marsden, Catherine Keener and Tracy Morgan to an all-star cast that already includes Jake Gyllenhaal and Jessica Biel. As thrilled as we are to see Morgan's movie career graduate to the level of a Russell production, we fear what mayhem might arise from combining the highly combustible auteur and the manically unhinged actor. [THR]
· Overseas audiences love 10,000 B.C.! So much so that Warner Bros. has ordered 9999 more sequels, at which point they'll have Roland Emmerich take a stab at the Nativity Story, in which the baby Savior will fend off bloodthirsty sabre-toothed manger goats. [Variety]
· Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson are close to signing Nanny McPhee's Thomas Sangster to play the lead role in their motion-capture Tintin trilogy. Do they really have to make it motion-capture? Nothing good ever comes from motion-capture. Let's just leave it in the early '00s, like we left sundried tomatoes in the '80s. [THR]

The LAT notes that the I Heart Huckabees internet sensation—featuring an exasperated Lily Tomlin enduring the c-word, among other spittle-flecked indignities, from her tantrum-throwing director David O. Russell—has now officially "reached the parody phase." (In our experience, that often signals the beginning of the end, but they feel it indicates the leaks are still "gathering steam.") Realizing, as former sparring partner George Clooney recently put it, that such matters can "screw with people's careers", they generously offer an opportunity for the explosively temperamental director's supporters to defend the outburst in their pages, resulting in mostly "Waddaya want—he's a passionate guy!" and "Mind your own fucking business. It's a movie thing"-style responses:

We've been patiently awaiting the inevitable announcement of I Heart Huckabees enforcer David O. Russell's next project following the unprecedented levels of buzz he's enjoying since the leak of the now-infamous outtakes from that shoot, a calling card revealing a filmmaker who countenances no lip from difficult talent, a quality always in high demand in the industry. Today's THR reports that Russell has signed on to do an adaptation of Gore Daughter chick-littish political novel Sammy's Hill; in announcing the project, producer Doug Wick trumpets Russell's talent, but inadvertently reveals the disastrous creative differences soon to come:

Because we at Defamer realize that it's important that individuals disenfranchised by the mainstream media be given a forum in which to make their voices heard, we're happy to publish this missive sent to us by publicist-to-the-stars Stan Rosenfield on behalf of e-mailing-eschewing client George Clooney, who is eager to deny the rumors that he had something to do with the leaking of those I Heart Huckabees outtakes that have so delighted everyone in Hollywood over the past week or so. Forwards Rosenfield/writes Clooney:

Radar connects some IMDb dots to concoct a theory that noted prankster and onetime David O. Russell sparring partner George Clooney might have been responsible for the recent appearance of those lighthearted I Heart Huckabees outtakes on the internet, tracing a certain sound designer's career path from Russell's Three Kings to Clooney's currently shooting Leatherheads. Confronted with the accusation, the actor's internet-hating publicist was quick to protect his client by depicting him as a Luddite who would smash the magic computer-box with a rock in frustration if he ever attempted to navigate the rocket-scientist-level complexities of the YouTubes:

By now you have undoubtedly watched the now-infamous footage of Lily Tomlin and David O. Russell's love-in on the set of I Heart Huckabees dozens and dozens of times (if not, hey, there's a video hovering right above these words! Convenient!), delighting anew at every bird flipped in frustration and each heartfelt, profane accusation of directorial incest. The clips' rapid proliferation via the YouTubes prompted the Miami New Times to ask Tomlin what she thinks about having the three-year-old laundry run out on the interweb clothesline for a fresh airing:

We don't know how or why these two utterly amazing clips of Lily Tomlin and David O. Russell, the headlockingest, Clooney-feudingest director in all of Hollywoodland, sharing a couple of very special moments on the set of I Heart Huckabees (video whose existence on the talent agency tape-swapping black market we first heard about in a Sharon Waxman NY Times piece in 2004—more on that later) have suddenly surfaced on the YouTubes, but here they are, giving us all a taste of the existential cockfight that the Huckabees shoot seems to have been.

From her bunker in Park City, NY Times film reporter Sharon Waxman gives the New York Observer a little perspective on the unexlpoded-landmine-and-mass-grave-riddled Hollywood beat:

At the IFPIFP/New York's Gotham Awards, maverick director David O. Russell uses an amused Jim Carrey to demonstrate exactly how he will sneak up on George Clooney to apply a deadly headlock should the two ever cross paths again. Mark Wahlberg takes notes to alert Clooney of Russell's improved technique.

When David O. Russell, the headlockin'est,newspaper-feudin'est director in town, ventured to Pixar's NorCal campus for a public chat with The Incredibles' Brad Bird on Friday, he obviously didn't spend too much time familiarizing himself with the studio's work. Russell made the mistake of invoking The Green Ogre That Shall Not Be Named, but somehow avoided being lynched by the crowd of animators. An attendee reports: