Tonight, David Letterman told a joke about the A380 that clipped a smaller plane at JFK and compared the jumbo jet to Kirstie Alley. Later he wondered whether Alley is comfortable being called "heavy or large or jumbo or fat" before apologizing to her—but that didn't stop the jokes.

Last January, Ricky Gervais took the Golden Globes by storm with a series of naughty jokes that poked fun at many of the celebrities in attendance. And while Gervais defended his remarks shortly thereafter, when David Letterman read them back to him on tonight's Late Show, he was much more coy.

After pointing out the ridiculousness of Regis's sleeves—being embroidered with his name and all—Dave and Reege discussed retiring, the "stooges" that may replace them (like Jeff Probst and Ryan Seacrest) and riding off into the sunset together.

When Jack Hanna shows up on the Late Show, you can be sure that something wacky is going to happen. On last night's episode, Jack convinced Dave to feed an adorable barn owl a dead mouse with his own hands.

What happens when Dana Carvey attempts to show Dave how to make a great impression of Charlie Sheen? For Carvey, it's a mix of Johnny Carson and Jack Nicholson's voices. How did it sound? Winning, duh!

Steve Martin isn't the only big star on David Letterman's Late Show this evening—Alec Baldwin's in the audience! Or was in the audience, that is. You see, once Baldwin found out Martin was on, too, he split.

Last August, when Brian Williams visited David Letterman on the Late Show, Letterman expressed his concern over Williams' plans to do The Tonight Show. Tonight, in a cranky/endearing way, Letterman blasted Williams for appearing on "the goddamn Leno show."

On tonight's Late Show freshman Tea Party Senator Rand Paul stopped by for an interview. On the whole, the discussion focused on politics—specifically, education, government spending, and tax cuts for the rich. Naturally, the two men disagreed.

Dave took time to address the announcement that Lindsay would read the show's Top 10 List this week, saying "It turns out we were duped, and I have no one to blame but myself and boy my face is red."

Producers at Late Night with David Letterman got a call from a "friend" of Lindsay Lohan and booked her to appear on the show on Thursday through this intermediary. Too bad the "friend" was a fake and LiLo won't be on after all.

On Friday's Late Show, Ed Helms spoke about a few of his hobbies that he's particularly awesome at: skateboarding and toy helicopters. As he put it, saying that he's "Quite good is offensive to me, because I am amazing."

Tonight, Anderson Cooper—fresh from his headline-grabbing Egypt trip—stopped by the Late Show to chat with David Letterman about being beaten up by an angry, pro-Mubarak mob. "I don't recommend it," said Cooper. Neither do we. Leave Andy alone!

On tonight's Late Show, Domestic Diva Martha Stewart made some Superbowl treats with David Letterman. One problem: all Letterman wanted to do was bring up Stewart's stint in the slammer. She was not pleased—but she did get revenge!

Justin Bieber appeared on the Late Show last night and taught ol' Dave a little bit about Twitter. It's a little alarming that Letterman doesn't know what an "underscore" is but he gets a pass on this one anyway.

During last Saturday's Miss America pageant, something magical happened: Miss Arkansas, Alyse Eady, performed a ventriloquism/yodeling act during the talent portion of the competition. Tonight, the runner-up appeared on the Late Show and performed—twice!—for David Letterman. Watch inside.

This morning, Regis Philbin shocked viewers when he announced his impending retirement from his morning show. Tonight, friend David Letterman got Philbin on the phone during the Late Show to sort the whole thing out—and bicker with him.

David Letterman set an awkward tone when he started a conversation by saying "I know Kevin has a bit of a weight problem." Vince Vaughn then tells a long story about the green juices they both drank on the set.

On last night's Late Show, David Letterman's Top 10 List was "Ways New York City Is Preparing for the Blizzard." T'was mostly kitsch and Mayor Bloomberg-bashing, but—mid-list—Letterman went off on a hilarious tangent about his displeasure with Noxzema.

On tonight's Late Show, David Letterman welcomed Snooki—or Nicole Polizzi, if you're taking her seriously—on to read the night's Top 10 List, which was "Reasons to Buy the New Snooki Book." She looked shorter than normal. Watch inside.

John Boehner's new gavel is proving to be comedic gold for late night hosts this week. Letterman went for the "oversized things" gag and he and guest Seth Rogen did what anyone would—smashed everything to pieces.