Andrea Peyser goes back to the well to milk one more column out of Herb Shaw, the bulky virgin from Yonkers who has probably kept Kleenex parent company Kimberly-Clark afloat single-handedly. (Hahaha, get it? We're saying he has to touch himself!) The new slimline Herb has yet to turn in his V-card, but not for lack of options: Herb, reports Andrea, has had a number of suitors, but, for whatever reason, "Herb has beaten them off." (Hahaha, get it? Now she's saying he jerks off a lot.) A disappointed Peyser offers some advice to the semi-buff virgin who clearly haunts her dreams.