It may be the middle of election season and Keith Olbermann might be enjoying record ratings, but things aren't going nearly as swimmingly for MSNBC's Dan Abrams. In late 2007 he returned to an on-air role after a shortlived (and, by all accounts, unsuccessful) stint as the network's general manager. But despite the hoopla at the time that he'd help bolster MSNBC's sagging lineup, Abrams has yet to make much a dent in the ratings. His show Verdict, which debuted in March 2008, doesn't hold a candle to Hannity & Colmes, which has nearly four times as many viewers. And his rather obvious effort to gin ratings by copying his more successful colleague Keith Olbermann—he now uses a good part of his hour to mock Fox News personalities like Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Brit Hume, and Shepard Smith—has yet to pay off the way it has for Olbermann. The clearest sign of his struggle to stay afloat? The guests he's booked over the past few weeks...

The current legal analyst for ABC News on Good Morning America, Abrams is also the founder of Abrams Research and the website Mediaite.com.

"MSNBC said today that [general manager] Dan Abrams, who has been the host of a 9 p.m. news hour called 'Live with Dan Abrams' temporarily since July, will stay in the job permanently, leaving behind the managerial position he had occupied for a little over a year." With MSNBC's ratings nipping at CNN's heels, this can only be good for Abrams: If ratings stay high, he can take all the credit, and if they start to go down, hey, he can just blame the new guy. Also notable: Dan Abrams, though he unfortunately refers to his program as "snarky," has "no interest in doing Keith Olbermann." Boy, is he not alone in that.

• NYT says "[Redacted], you [redacted] [redacted] of the CIA. Go [redacted] a up your [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] until it [redacted]." Ouch. [NYT]
  

• Wall Street Journal Managing Editor Paul Steiger set to retire at the end of next year. [NYP]
  

• You ever get so incapacitated by the incredible number of jokes that you could possibly do about a story that you just bury it in a linkdump? Because sometimes we do. [FBW]
• The dog ate the Times' and the Trib's homework. [NYT]
• Network television as we know it is apparently dead. This is what happens when you put Jeff Zucker in charge of things. [WSJ]
• Mean Dan Abrams won't answer sweetie Rachel Sklar's questions concerning long overdue canning of Crosby, Carlson. [ETP]
• Jesus Christ, Crown will buy anything. [NYP]
• Did you know that the magazine industry is starting to embrace the Web? Of course you did. But confirmation from Jon Friedman always makes it seem a little more legitimate. [Marketwatch]
• Sheryl Stolberg is gay for Tony Snow. [NJ]

• Campbell Brown, you naughty girl! The Today show interim co-host flashes her inexplicable ankle tat — no idea what that's supposed to be, but she really should've gone for a fairy or a dolphin. [Animal]
• "Management thought it was very important that Dan Abrams hire someone he wouldn't try to fuck." [FishbowlNY]
• Remember Friendster? Vaguely, even? They've been awarded a patent for their search methods and may be awarded another in the near future. MySpace pretends to shake in its enormous boots. [WSJ]
• Scarlett Johansson is becoming increasingly suspect of touching human petri dish Wilmer Valderrama. [HWoW]
• Who doesn't want to see John Stossel get slapped? [iFilm]
• Fall asleep to the sounds of Brooklyn hipsters and enjoy your inevitable nightmares on Bedford street. [BrooklynRadio]
• Palm Beach Police Chief thinks naughty financier Jeffrey Epstein is getting off easy (ba dum dum). [The Blotter]

Well. We thought we had it on good authority that new MSNBC chief Dan Abrams was not, in fact, a virgin. But then, we also thought he was younger than 40.

His makeup job was horrendous this AM on the Today show. He looked like a drag queen.

Not one week since MSNBC's former president Rick Kaplan "stepped down" from his post, the fledgling network has promoted Dan Abrams to the position of general manager. This comes as bad news for fans of drowsy afternoon legal analysis, as it means he will no longer be hosting the Abrams Report (though he will, however, continue to act as NBC's chief legal correspondent, so we'll still get to watch Dan bat his pretty blue eyes on the Today show and Dateline).

We were directed earlier today to the Wikipedia bio for MSNBC host Dan Abrams, which contains some awfully surprising news at its very tail end:

• Teri Hatcher and Ryan "Not Gay" Seacrest enjoy an intimate moment. You better believe it — they'd never, ever stage something like this for the press. This concludes the swallow-your-own-vomit moment for today, brought to you by Us Weekly. [Us Weekly]
• If the thought of minivans and picket fences weren't horrifying enough, another reason why Connecticut should be avoided. [1010 WINS]
• Kate Moss lashes out at paparazzi. Coke makes you edgy and angry like that. [LSE]
• Just like bears, attractive New Yorkers hibernate during winter. [Logged Hours]
• There's not a lot to say about Vin Diesel. Thank God for small pleasures. [Fawny]
• And finally, who's the real victim in the Duke lacrosse team gang rape incident? Duke alum Dan Abrams. The poor thing must be crippled with grief. [MSNBC]