Is Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove, whose contract is almost certain to get renewed in spite of the continuous disavowals of, oh, anyone with any specific knowledge of the situation, being placed in solitary confinement? According to Women's Wear Daily, "A copy of a new seating chart that circulated at the New York Daily News late last week sparked renewed interest in the fate of gossip columnist Lloyd Grove. The chart, which showed a reorganized features department, did not allot a place for Grove to sit. Employees believed this might finally signal the end of Grove's time at the paper." Well, we've obtained a copy of that chart, and, based on our careful examination, we have to agree with Lloyd that his position at The News is secure — though it's an open secret that he's running out the clock until the paper dispenses with his services and he's forced to slink back to covering dinner parties in Alexandria, Va.

• Apparently Joe Lieberman has some sort of bet going to determine how stupid voters in Connecticut really are. [YouTube]
• When an outfit like The Nation calls something "the stupidest press release ever" you need to sit up and take note: It's got to be egregiously dumb to stand out amongst all the touts for new bongs and "progressive netroots" conferences. [The Nation]
• American Apparel flack responds to 2005 resignation letter; apparently, Dov Charney is so saintly that if you threw him out of a plane, he'd float up. [Consumerist]
• Philadelphia follows lead of New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, bans smoking. Racist cheesesteaks still available. [Philadelphia Will Do]
• Britney Spears has no plans to birth newest Federline in Namibia, decides it's just as easy to sob yourself to sleep here in the U.S.A. [People]
• The Daily News doesn't need a touching quote to make us cry - they can just keep running that unsightly picture of Lloyd Grove each day. [Observer]
• Jack Shafer's not gonna be happy until every single American child is on the drugs. Also, he ran with a tough crowd in high school [Slate]
• Ann Coulter calls for assassination of Pennsylvania congressman; weary nation yawns, wonders who said it first. [ThinkProgress]
• A heartwarming story about respect. [OINY]
• OMG, this is SO. FUCKING. CUTE. [Corporate Casual]

What's wrong with this picture?

• Page Six traffics in buzz, apparently. [NYT]
• Uncle Bob Schieffer might stick around to do end-of-show commentaries on Couric-led CBS Evening News. And also to show off his legs, of course. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• Breaking: Daily News distributes sponsored copies! [NYT]
• It's hard to be a teen magazine. [Mediaweek]
• Real Simple loses two top editors; Details's Dan Peres tucks in. [WWD]

It's a holiday weekend of some sort, so things are a mite slow. But everyone's still on this story in some way or another, though the Chinese and Indian press are no longer filing daily reports. Here's a look at a few of the latest dispatches:

Now that sexual assault suspect Peter Braunstein is in custody, the real fun begins: reflecting on the past two months' search and angrily pointing fingers at every misstep along the way. Hurrah!

The DA is dropping charges against the two brothers accused of stabbing a bouncer at East Village bar Guernica after he tried to enforce the smoking ban, citing a lack of murder weapon and lack of witnesses. The NY Press points out that this seems a little odd, given that press coverage in the Post and the Daily News report that there were, in fact, witnesses and lack of murder weapon isn't usually enough to prevent a case from going to trial.
Not enough evidenceor too much? [NY Press]

This story's been all over the place today: a bouncer the East Village bar, Guernica, was stabbed to death when he tried to force two men to extinguish their cigarettes. The Daily News notes that one of the perps was a banker. Having worked on Wall Street, I'm inclined to think that "banker" might possibly explain the situation better than "the smoking ban."
He's killed over a smoke [NY Daily News]

The music moguls are whining about internet piracy, but a moment of pity for the artists. The Daily News calculates the earnings of a hypothetical rock band — once the packaging deductions, recording costs, manager's and lawyer's fees are subtracted. The money, even for a successful album: about $40k for each member, about the same as the annual salary of a city sanitation worker.
A music industry case study [NYDN]

The NY Post apologizes to Sandy Koufax but says it's all the Daily News' fault. At least everyone's being grown up about it. The summary, in case you missed it: "Mooooooom, the NY Post called me 'gay'." "Okay, Page Six, tell Sandy you're sorry!" "But mooooom, the Daily News made me do it!"
New York Post to apologize to Koufax for 'gay' item [WaPo]
Sandy Koufax, an apology [Post]

Pete Hamill's new book, Forever, follows an immortal protagonist from Tweed-era New York to 9/11 Manhattan. The Daily News describes it as "Celticinfused magical realism."

Pete's New York epic [NY Daily News]

Forever: A Novel

The NY Daily News reports that Magnum Sports & Entertainment's $22 million acquisition of Ford Models never happenedand probably won't. Michael Gross writes that "Magnum failed to come up with the cash." Ford, in its heyday, was home to supermodels Rachel Hunter, Christie Brinkley, and Stephanie Seymour. The deal included more than 80% of the Ford family's equity, which was perhaps indicative of the company's struggle in recent years to attract new talent. The potential acquirer was in much worse shape and Katie Ford is probably thanking her lucky superstars that the transaction never happened. The $22 million was mostly equity, and Magnum's stock is currently trading at $0.002 a share.

The Daily News says being single has its advantages and recommends a number of options for the solo traveler. Vegas, Costa Rica, Amsterdam, and London are all on the list. Then again, so is the generic "cruise" option, which is a little frightening. Kathie Lee, Florida retirees and food poisoning should never be braved alone.
The solo explosion [NY Daily News]

If Rockefeller Center is too much of a nightmare for you (crowds, lines, suburban people with non-New York accents) check out the Daily News' list of other places to go ice skating.
Rink in 2003 and play it cool [NY Daily News]

Bloomberg spokesman on hearing that the NY Daily News' "unscientific survey" gave the mayor an "F" on performance: "[he] doesn't comment on Bigfoot, the tooth fairy or other fictions." The skepticism isn't entirely misplaced; the poll was conducted online, which means, of course, that it's entirely possible to vote early and vote often.
Bloomberg gets an 'F' in Daily News opinion poll [NY1.com]
Mike gets an F [NY Daily News]

The Daily News counsels against letting things get in the way of your daily workout. The Economist, however, suggests that working out at the gym can be an utterly pointless exercise that does more harm than good, sometimes even resulting in muscle dysmorpha ("bigorexia") or permanent injuries from having been yoga-ed into damaging positions. At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves who's smarterThe NY Daily News or The Economist. We will concede, however, that if you must work out obsessively, New York has some of the most interesting forms of exertainment availablefrom Sunday morning gospel choir exercises to striptease aerobics to firefighter workouts.
First, admit defeat. [NY Daily News]
The cult of the gym [The Economist]
Firefighter training at Crunch gym [PBS.org]
Cardio strip [Crunch.com]
Praise & workout [PRWeb]

The NY Daily News reports that a magazine industry exposé called "Page Sex" is expected to be published next fall. (Yes, another one.) The authors, a "top editor of a major financial magazine and the top editor of a major entertainment magazine," are writing under the pen name "C.J. Tosh."
Page Sex: blind item [NY Daily News]

· NYT columnist Thomas Friedman has to "work hard to be smart" [Star Tribune of Minneapolis]
· Columnist says melodrama over NYT spiked columns is overblown [Toronto star]
· New York Daily News building sold [Newsday]
[via Romenesko]