Just when you think professional ridiculous person Gwyneth Paltrow can't provide more fodder for her haters, she calls her grandmother "a real cunt." Following Chelsea Handler's admission that her grandmother was "a real bitch," Our Lady of Organic Dewdrops lays into old Grandma Muti:

Thirteen year-old Kayla Manson went on the Today Show this morning to discuss being charged as an accomplice in a vicious "text rage" beating that left her friend nearly dead. They asked Kayla what the mean text messages said. Mistake.

A-Rod "crashed" his ride. Simon Cowell: engaged. Barry Bonds: divorced. Jim Carrey: grandfather. Where Tiger Woods loses $100M, I see opportunity. The world changes and turns. Let this final weekend shit begin. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

We received a lovely email last night from Stephanie Burton, the editor-in-chief of CollegeOTR, a college blog network. Burton tells us that she and her boss were looking for a PR firm to get them some visibility, and someone referred them to 5WPR, helmed by incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian. When they asked the agency about Ronn's bad press, "They brushed off our concerns about Ronn's reputation and blamed "jilted" news reporters for the bad press," she writes. [An interesting formulation: reporters who dislike 5W for legitimate reasons are "jilted!"] CollegeOTR eventually decided not to hire Ronn and 5W. And now, after learning more about his "Cunt" related history (summed up here)," she says, "The fact that we even considered working with him is more than slightly nauseating." That's edumacational! And after the jump, Ronn speaks out (and gets spoken about)!

Actress Jane Fonda isn't supposed to say "cunt" because she's an American, a decorated Viet Cong lieutenant and everything but still an American. Gordon Ramsay, on the other hand, is a louche British prick who happens to cook and has a television show, and we just haven't gotten around to rendering him to CIA surrogates in Syria or whatever. So he can say "cunt" as he does in this clip and we would not be offended, even if he was speaking in his native tongue and not Welsh, and even if he was on clean American television and not the filthy BBC. [Tabloid Baby]

Things we don't know: What exactly our filthy-minded reader thought they were going to find by searching for that dirty, awful—just awful!—word; how Netflix's search engine ties notable films and/or individuals to specific keywords. Things we do know: This is an incredibly unfair way to treat two of the 20th century's greatest humanitarians. We sincerely hope that whatever technical glitch is responsible for this uglinees will be cleared up by morning.