Today's sign that The End Is Near: A Florida man makes vape liquid out of (something he claims is) his friend's semen, then inhales it and blows forth a mighty jizz cloud. This herald of the apocalypse, ID'd only as "Brad," claims he's "the first man ever to vape semen." He was reportedly paid $68 for the seminal act. (Why not make it $69? ;) )

The years-long litigation involving a Los Angeles third-grade teacher who blindfolded his students and forced them to eat cookies made with his semen ended last month with a $140 million settlement between the school district and the victims.

Below, you'll find a photograph that's been described as horrifying, disgusting, dark-sided, and "makes me feel physically ill." It's not all that shocking, though. It's just a My Little Pony doll that a man on the internet accidentally melted in a jar of his own cum.

Sarah Silverman kicked off the short comedy series Rubberhead yesterday with a bit called "Cops Cum Dicks and Flying," co-starring Seth Rogen. The title doesn't immediately make sense, but then it suddenly arrives and it's all over you and ugh you're going to need a shower after this because there's so much of it.