Sissy bounce queen Big Freedia appeared on last night's episode of FXX's Totally Biased to promote her upcoming reality show on Fuse. Her ensuing interview with W. Kamau Bell was a refreshing alternative to the online hysteria about twerking, Miley Cyrus, and cultural appropriation. Freedia, as you may know, attempted to set a world record for twerking on Wednesday in New York, though the claim that she succeeded in setting said record is being contested. Either way, she knows her stuff.

I still felt Alfonso Cuarón's Gravity in my body the day after I saw it last week.

Michael J. Fox, a diminutive man with tremendous likability, is returning to primetime television in an eponymous sitcom, The Michael J. Fox Show, tonight on NBC. Even though the Emmy-winning actor has been around, in one capacity or another, since he publicly announced Parkinson's diagnosis, his appearances tend to elicit an unspoken pity from people who don't know what to expect: Uh, y'know, how's he doing? Is he OK? According to Rolling Stone cover story that just went online today, Michael J. Fox is doing very well. In fact, he seems pretty great.

Today in dumb controversies: Yesterday's world record for "Most People Twerking Simultaneously" has been formally challenged.

David and Jackie Siegel set out to build the United States' largest single-family house (in Florida, of course), but after David's time-share business, Westgate, went belly-up, they lost it all. This was depicted in last year's astounding Queen of Versailles documentary. In the time after the movie was filmed, as Jackie claimed earlier this year on Watch What Happens Live, David's business gained footing, posted its biggest profits ever, and the couple bought back their formerly foreclosed 'roid roost. They also disputed the veracity of the documentary, in court and elsewhere.

I didn't watch everything on TV today, but really, what could possibly top this?

Earlier this week, Forbes released its annual breakdown of "Hip-Hop Cash Kings"—the highest-paid rap artists of the last year. It's an interesting calculation for many reasons, including the revelations that Pitbull made more than Drake, that both Nicki Minaj and Avicii brought in more than Kanye, and that the top 20 spots contain five white guys, one of whose names rhymes with Tacklebore.

Big Freedia is the undisputed queen of sissy bounce. She's a New Orleans hip-hop diva who's toured around the country with a twerking team long before the word demanded a supercut. Her signature track is "Azz Everywhere," though she's also got one called "Make Ya Booty Go," and now Big Freedia wants to reclaim her association with p-popping by setting the Guinness World Record™ for "Most People Twerking Simultaneously," a feat that will be attempted in New York City's Herald Square any minute now.

E.D.M. will be the death of our culture, if molly doesn't kill us all first. That is what I gathered from "Night Club Royale," the New Yorker's semi-profile of Paris Hilton's ex, producer/DJ Afrojack, who amused me so when I saw him at the Electric Daisy Carnival in 2012, and through whom writer Josh Eells gives us a good look at the entire Vegas nightclub casino scene. (Between this and the Rolling Stone Miley Cyrus profile, Eells having the best culture-writing week ever.)

What won't adult star James Deen do? Clown porn.

The weirdest running thread of the Emmys was the series of green-room cutaways to Criminal Minds actor/former Soul Train host Shemar Moore. When the camera turned on him, it could go real right or real wrong, as they say on Basketball Wives. Sometimes he stumbled over the cue cards, seemingly unable to catch up with himself. Sometimes he repeated himself, seemingly riffing. Sometimes there were awkward silences. Sometimes, he read straight through with the contrived naturalness of the TV presenter he is apparently aspiring to be. What's up with that?

Did he get caught where he wasn't supposed to be on live TV? Is this a bit? Is it real? Is it fake? Does it matter when the shuffle is this great?

Before performing his song "Home Again," Elton John read a speech about Liberace (the subject of the multi-nominated HBO movie Behind the Candelabra) that he clearly did not write and maybe had never seen before he read it on live television.

Here's Merritt Wever winning for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for her work on Nurse Jackie. They should all be this short and this weird. None of them will be.

The recent New York Times profile of Melvin Van Peebles finds the 81-year-old filmmaker tired, probably from exuberant sex the night before. The Times is too demure to tell you that, but you can read it between the lines:

It's rare to watch a stoner comedy and think that its director will make a great interview. But Newlyweeds, writer-director Shaka King's independent comedy/drama (opening today at New York's Film Forum), is a rare kind of movie, one that depicts lives and relationships you see infrequently (if at all, on film), and there's an urgency to King's voice underneath the weedy, mellow vibe.

"It just wasn't done well. She can't dance, her body looked like hell, the song wasn't great, one cheek was hanging out. And, chick, don't stick out your tongue if it's coated." - Tongue-wielding expert Cher on Miley Cyrus' VMAs performance

Yesterday, sulking fame heir Willow Smith performed her song "Summer Fling" on the first episode of the new Queen Latifah Show. If you saw the official video for this song that can't decide if it wants to be a ballad or an uptempo (not that it has to decide anything since it is millennial), you probably noticed that Smith breaks into a British accent for no good reason during the song's few spoken lines. She sounds extremely stupid, which I guess makes sense since she is 12. She did the same thing during her performance, but the accent was more pronounced and the lines were different. In the interview that followed the performance, Smith did not speak in a British accent, which also makes sense, since she isn't British.

Gwyneth Paltrow likes Chick-fil-A, go figure.

Yesterday, Madonna experienced the great modern celebrity rite of passage into the illusion of tech-savvy by participating in an Ask Me Anything on Reddit. She was often very sassy. She answered "send photo" over half a dozen times. In lowercase with sparing punctuation, she was just revealing enough to remain worth reading. She spoke of a dream in which, "Brad Pitt and I were living together and there was a small blonde child in the bed." She added, "Sorry Angelina, it was only a dream." Later she said that this made her laugh.