NY Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams had no news today because she hasn't had a scoop since the Paleozoic Era. She has resorted to asking psychics what the gossip of the future will be. The answers will shock you.

Only two more weeks before Heather Locklear returns to save us from this dreadful show. As always, we have some predictions on how it might work.

Jo Reynolds came back last night as a celebrity photographer and her ego was as big as Annie Liebovitz's debt. And the future isn't much brighter for her or any of the denizens of this famous zip code.

Who hasn't invited a crazy lady home, hired her as a publicist, or worked for her as a high priced hooker? Everyone! We've seen how these things end, and it's with Amanda Woodward saving us all from boredom.

Last night Levi Johnston appeared on masturbatory Bravo exec and host Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live. Yeah, he's down with the gays. He better be, because in 10 years, he'll be a washed-up former pretty boy on VH1.

Paramount interns are plucking rose petals as we speak for Brad Grey's arrival at the office tomorrow, by which time Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Do We Really Have to Write it Out Again will be on its way to the top five — and possibly even an all-time record — for a five-day opening weekend. Most midnight screenings around the country tonight are already sold out, with at least one prognosticator firming up his tracking to reflect a $173 million opening. The number would bump the final Star Wars installment Revenge of the Sith from the number-one spot and, paired with Iron Man, give Paramount the best May in its history.