A Carnival Cruise ship stranded off the Mexican coast has been rescued by the Coast Guard.

Titanic jokes, ahoy! The National Review is offering a delightful cruise in Portugal and Spain for anyone who wants to know what it's like to be trapped in an enclosed space for a week with the likes of Michael Mukasey.

Royal Caribbean says sipping mojitos and working your tan mere miles from places where corpses are piled in the streets is America's humanitarian duty. We all have our crosses to bear.

In a shameful act of discrimination against differently-aged fucking, Carnival Cruise Lines says it won't allow any more "Cougar"-themed cruises. What is next, a ban on "Cheetah" cruises? Fear not, ladies; China could use 24 million of you.

Enjoy your cruise! But beware of running aground, falling overboard, disappearing, and/ or being jacked by Somali pirates. Click to watch a compilation of just one month of holiday cruise ship disasters.

Oh look. Someone has invented the official Pink Floyd cruise. For three days and three nights you can enjoy the sweet sounds of "Think Floyd USA," the country's "number one" Pink Floyd cover band, while trapped on a boat in the Bahamas. Here's our question: would you rather travel on the "The Great Gig in the Sea" or attend the yearly National Review cruise with Dinesh D'Souza and the enraged ghost of William F. Buckley? Please answer in the form of a short essay, in the comments. The best response wins a free ride on the Staten Island Ferry!

Never have we been so grateful for an aluminum tray filled with chewy khaki-colored chicken cutlets nor so appreciative of the New York Time's City section than we have while reading David Shaftel's exposé, Putting the Oh! in Ocean.