The Observer's Spencer Morgan—who, some might say, resembles a young Charles Grodin—recently took the Metro-North train up to Westport, CT to meet the 72-year-old Beethoven star Charles Grodin. They ate seafood salad together and Grodin sang along to Dido's White Flag. "He turned the song up loud and a faraway look came over him. 'I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,' Dido began. Mr. Grodin sang along. Mrs. Grodin thinks her husband has an unhealthy obsession with the song." You know what else Grodin has an unhealthy obsession with? Himself!

"Gong Show" host Chuck Barris has been enmeshed in a battle with his penthouse neighbor at the Trump Plaza for years now. She's an 85-year-old "inventor" and crazy ol' coot named Dorothea M. Weitzner. Barris, a little cuckoo himself—he claimed he was a CIA assassin while hosting the Gong Show—has been on the receiving end of some seriously wacky invectives by Weitzner. In a letter recently published in the New York Law Journal, Weitzner wrote: "what you need is your head cracked open. I'll get you, just you wait ... I'll get you, you cockroach. You faggot. Your wife's mother's a slut."