"You can drink your pain away, but it usually takes substantial amounts of alcohol," an AOLer writes us. The rambling email proves he was up to the challenge. When your employer is shedding a fifth of its staff, why not down a fifth of your pantry's finest Scotch? And they say not to drunk-dial you ex-girlfriend, but drunk-emailing a gossip blog? Gentle readers, never avoid the temptation. The email, in all its drunken-typo glory, after the jump. Bring your drinking shoes.