Craig Davidson is a Canadian novelist. He got all bulked up on steroids because, well, the character for the novel he was writing took steroids, he explains in The Guardian. "My character goes down dark roads. For the sake of the book, I thought I'd travel those roads with him. He begins to work out obsessively. I began to work out obsessively... He takes steroids. I took steroids." Method writing at work! It turns out that gearing up, however, is not so simple. It made his life an utter, living hell. By the fourth day: "I appeared to have breasts. Pendulous, malformed breasts." Other bad things happened. To his testicles. To his... prostate.

Last night in the sweaty morass of Gleason's Boxing Gym, a crowd of weird literary types gathered around a boxing ring. Famous pervert-alcoholic-author Jonathan Ames was set to fight Craig Davidson, Canadian author of pugilist novel "The Fighter." At 43, more than a decade older than his opponent, Ames was technically the underdog. But the crowd was in his corner. His friend Mangina was there, with the fake leg, wearing a flesh colored unitard and a fake vagina. Sitting in the front row was none other than 90's chanteuse Fiona Apple, looking anxious. Why was she here, we wondered to her face. "Because Jonathan is my boyfriend." Oh? It looks like Ames won before he even started. But Fiona couldn't help him when the bell rung for the first of three two-minute rounds. But maybe she helped him win! Laurel Ptak was there to capture the carnage, the victory and the moments of tendresse.