Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! All persons having interest in Top Chef Season 7 D.C., are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for the season is now screening. God save the burnt ends, the offal, and us all.

• How did the Tavern on the Green auction turn out last week? It could have gone better. The sale brought in a total of $3.5 million, which is considerably less than the $8 million the restaurant owes its creditors. [NYO, GS]
• Tom Colicchio's Craftsteak replacement, Colicchio & Sons, opened its doors last night. And here are a few other openings planned for this week and next.
• More on the plan to open a Shake Shack on E. 86th St. later this year. [NYT]
• Starbucks has raised its prices, just so you're aware. [NYP, BC]
• You may not want to read this if you're a fan of NYC tap water. [Gothamist]
• Waverly Inn diners "sat in awe" when Oprah stopped by on Sunday. [P6]

• A bunch of expensive restaurants are slated to open over the next few months. That kind of sucks for them, yes, although construction costs are down and rents are now negotiable, so it's not all bad news. Sort of. [NYT]
• Frank Bruni offers up his take on a bunch of "recession beaters" in today's Times, including Anthos Upstairs, Craft's DFF, and the lounge at Per Se. [NYT]
• Will swine flu finally kill the pork-belly trend? [GS]
• Despite the recession, steakhouses still seem full, says the Post's Steve Cuozzo, and Wagyu beef is still selling, "strangely." Strange, indeed. [NYP]
• Snapple is giving away free pizza from May 4 to May 7. [Slice]
• More immediately: 31-cent scoops at Baskin-Robbins tonight. [TFB]

• A sneak peak at Marea, the buzzed-about seafood restaurant from Michael White and Chris Cannon that's scheduled to open in early May. [GS]
• Craft's Damon Wise will be offering his frugal menu six days a week. [Eater]
• Photos of the steakhouse that is coming soon to the Standard NYC. [HC]
• Restaurant Girl on Inakaya: It's "touristy" but "the food's excellent." [NYDN]
• Top Chef Masters, the spinoff to Top Chef, debuts June 10. [Eater]
• Kogi, the Korean BBQ/taco truck popular in LA, may be NYC-bound. [Zagat]
• Obama Fried Chicken in Brooklyn will not be defeated. The fast food place with the controversial name is bravely refusing to change its name. [AMNY]

• Payard Patsserie was shut down by the Dept. of Health today. [Eater, NYT]
• Susur Lee's Shang only earns one star from Bruni in today's Times: "The magic that Mr. Lee reputedly made in Toronto hasn't followed him here." [NYT]
• Is chef Damon Wise saying goodbye to Tom Colicchio's Craft empire? [NYO]
• More mixed reviews for L'Artusi in the West Village. [Bloomberg, TONY]
• Is Anita Lo's Annisa up for sale? [Eater]
• Drew Nieporent is joining Danny Meyer at Citi Field. [Crain's]
• Is foie gras torture? Not so much, says Sarah DiGregorio of the Voice. [VV]
• Be on the lookout for new Heinz ketchup labels! [NYT]
• What's on the menu for dessert tonight? Breakfast, naturally. [NYT]

• Why isn't your glass of water getting refilled? It might be because the restaurant decided to slash costs by firing all the busboys. [WSJ]
• E.U. in the EV is no more; a trattoria is set to take its place by March. [Eater]
• Jean-Georges Vongerichten now says he won't be taking over the Ago space inside Robert De Niro's Greenwich Hotel after all. [DBTH]
• Is Momofuku Milk Bar turning into an actual bar? That's the rumor. [TFB]
• Tom Colicchio and Damon Wise are expanding their discount menu. [Eater]
• Scott Conant will be the guest judge on tomorrow's Top Chef. [GS]
• Gordon Ramsay hasn't been banned from Mario Batali's restaurants. [GS]
• Chef Gabrielle Hamilton has inked a book deal with Random House. [EMD]

• More trouble for the Ciprianis: The family's Rainbow Room lease has been terminated by Tishman Speyer for failing to pay millions in back rent. [NYT]
• The latest recessionary byproduct: restaurants are getting robbed. [Eater]
• Noah Tepperberg has won approval to open a new lounge in Chelsea. [NYP]
• Adam Platt gives John Dory two stars in this week's New York, subtracting points for a "slightly uneven" menu and "overamped" atmosphere. [NYM]
• Ron Perelman, Jon Bon Jovi and Larry Gagosian purchased the lease for the Blue Parrot in East Hampton and now plan to re-open it in May. [Page Six]
• Tom Colicchio and Craft executive chef Damon Wise are launching a new Friday night menu consisting of dishes and drinks under $10. [GS]
• Want to sample some deadly blowfish? You're in luck! [GS]

• Graydon Carter has backed out of hosting Vanity Fair's next Oscar party at Tom Colicchio's LA iteration of Craft because he doesn't like the Century City complex spot's "corporate feel." Laurent Tourondel's BLT on Sunset Strip will probably host the celeb-glutted affair instead. [P6]

Fresh off her triumphant turn as I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry's featured fake-gay-home-wrecking plot device, bodaciously tata'd ingenue Jessica Biel is busily plotting her next career moves. Like fellow B-list fantasy object Jessica Alba, Biel is concerned her looks might be preventing her from winning the kinds of Serious Parts she feels she's ready to tackle. Talking to MTV News, she says she's ready to subject herself to the rigors of the prosthetic uglification process: