Courtney Love offers to "take a metal straw" to Kurt Cobain's remains. Charlie Sheen enters the t-shirt business. Gilbert Gottfried regrets his tsunami jokes. Joe Jonas swears he's not gay. Wednesday gossip communes with the beyond.

• Jennifer Aniston celebrated her 42nd birthday with an "intimate dinner" with Jake Gyllenhaal, her costar in 2002's The Good Girl and a group of friends on Friday in New York. An eyewitness said: "Jake and Jen looked really happy and really seemed to be enjoying themselves." So, obviously, they did it. But what about the group of friends? There were over 30 friends there, including Adam Sandler and Hugh Jackman and Aniston's publicist and her agent. Did she just bring them along as an audience for her and Jake's romantic dinner date? Then they all went back to her place and watched them make out. Awkward. [Life & Style, Gossip Cop]

Nice guy Diddy is buying a model some new hair. Lil Wayne will do anything for love. Prince William and Kate Middleton spent Christmas apart. Does Courtney Cox really want David Arquette back? Post-Christmas Gossip Roundup is feeling generous.

[Wacky guy David Arquette dressed up like this for the LA Lakers' Ron Artest's birthday party last night in Los Angeles. Cool, man. Image via Getty]

[That actor guy who is now separated from that woman from "Friends" dressed super cool (and spent about ten minutes too long in the tanning bed) for the environment yesterday. Image via AP]

In a public service announcement to help The OPCC spread the word about domestic abuse, 30 Rock's Jack McBrayer and real-life married couple Courtney Cox and David Arquette don rabbit costumes and go at it like bunnies. [NSFW]

"It's a horrible title," said Courtney Cox when Ellen asked her about a possible new title for Cougar Town. As it turns out, the cast and producers wanted a new name, but C-Town and Family Jewels were deemed "too dirty."

If you're a female celebrity and you haven't gone girl-on-girl before a crowd of roaring, adoring males, you're probably gay. Last night, Sandra kissed Scarlett as revenge on Jesse. How did lesbian kisses become the ultimate mainstream display of hetero-desirability?

Kathy Griffin just played an over-the-top lesbian activist on Law & Order. It was so overblown, that it made us think that the portrayal of lesbians has been regressing recently. Inside, the historical arc of on-air girl-on-girl smooching.

It seems that Cougar Town is actually fueling Courtney Cox's man-eating delusions. Today on Ellen, Cox revealed that she's courting Zac Efron to appear on her ABC show. And even though she realizes it's a stretch, it won't stop her.

During last night's Cougar Town, Lisa Kudrow guest-starred as a doctor with a venomous tongue who gives Courtney Cox her botox treatment— and a dose of insults. These two might have better chemistry as frenemies rather than Friends. Puns!

Prince Harry isn't being a dick! Octomom gets her own TV show, Candy Spelling works her late husband's TV pitches in real time, and Rachel Bilson doesn't eat chap stick. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup.

George Clooney says you shouldn't listen to those disgruntled waitresses; Courtney Cox isn't listening to the Brad Pitt haters and David Hasselhoff doesn't want anyone listening to his daughter and ex-wife.

12/26 — JASON BATEMAN and family at Il Sole on Sunset... he is ridiculously hot... and seemed like a nice guy. COURTNEY COX, DAVID ARQUETTE and family also at Il Sole... she left the table last so everyone would see her, stopped by Bateman's table, and then headed out to the paparazzi... all two of them. Guess no one cares about her anymore. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

• Téa Leoni, who encouraged husband David Duchovny to seek treatment for sex addiction, fell in with Billy Bob Thornton, who has been married five times and has a child with his current girlfriend. Téa became his rock band groupie and accumulated dirty text messages from the actor on her cell phone. She's now separated from Duchovny and free to track down every last sex-addicted actor on the planet. (And Neel Shah is realizing the Truth Was Out There.) [Mail]

The success of Sex and the City has convinced execs that film versions of beloved 90's sitcoms are a good idea, so a Friends movie is on the way. The article emphasizes Jennifer Aniston's role in the decision making process and speculates she's jealous of Sarah Jessica Parker's recent success. We should put together a magazine exclusively dedicated to speculating about Jennifer Aniston's emotions. It seems to be a popular preoccupation these days.

Dirt star Courtney Cox leaves Nobu in a daze; either she's disappointed by the number of paparazzi covering her nearly frozen beat or she just endured an endless stream of terrible Chandler Bing impressions from hungry tourists with money to burn.

• Katie Holmes may be pregnant again. Celebrate now, there will be plenty of time to figure out which Scientology God's sperm impregnated her later. [OK!]