Illinois' alleged horrible criminal ex-governor, Rod Blagojevich, is very excited for the start of his corruption trial, which he's been promoting on television and radio since forever. Is he actually going to tweet nonsense throughout the trial? What a muppet.

A court in LA has denied Polanski's latest attempt to stay in his Swiss chalet forever more and avoid all the nasty prosecutors waiting for him in California. The decision may, finally, mean his return to the US. [CNN]

Being a judge is serious business—except for when the parties-in-question's names are Mr. and Mrs. Weenie. Here Judge Joe Brown can't help himself, which leads the entire courtroom into a major case of the giggles.

After 15 years of legal wrangling, a San Francisco court that says Smith's estate has no right to more than $300m she claimed her late billionaire husband, oil magnate J. Howard Marshall, promised her from his $1.6bn fortune. [AP]

Remember when Lindsey Graham told Sonia Sotomayor, "unless you have a complete meltdown, you're going to be confirmed?" Well those days are gone, now that Graham has emerged as Sootmayor's chief tormentor, something that's sparked Jon Stewart's ire.

Hipster Grifter and Brooklyn superstar Kari Ferrell had her court hearing in Philly today and Doree Shafrir, the lone real reporter to ever have touched this story, was there. Kari told an untruth:

A California appeals court ruled yesterday that your job has no right to obtain your work emails or text messages if they are stored by a third party provider. That means that the roughly 30% of Microsoft Outlook users whose emails are handled by a vendor, for example, would be protected from having their employers snoop on them. If your job stores employee emails internally, they can still read them. Regardless, this is good news for leakers in this age of corporate snooping on your Facebook pages. Who do you have to thank for this newfound privacy? A cop who sent sexy text messages from his work phone!: