It's been almost two years since Saved by the Bell's Lark Voorhies returned to pop culture via a bad makeup job (followed by another). Looking at these pics from Friday's Los Angeles premiere of Where We Started, though, it feels like no time has passed at all.

Ed. Note: Unfortunately, we were asked to take down the photograph which originally ran with this story. Which is great because it gave me an excuse to have Jim Cooke illustrate a new one. Just like the last time, he's very disappointed with the results because he was rushed and insisted we say 'Bad Drawings by Jim Cooke.' But instead we will acknowledge his heroic patience once again.

We're asking because we've missed you and this is a lot to deal with.

People with half a god damn brain in their heads not drugged to a stupor by that evil emotion "hope" have long understood that "anti-wrinkle creams" are bullshit. That, of course, has not stopped Americans from buying them by the truckload. We are a fundamentally dumb people. We must be protected from ourselves.

Men use cosmetics these days. Okay, fine. "Do you!" as we always exclaim, followed by a Z-shaped pattern of finger snaps. Unfortunately, guys seem to have a bit of a problem owning up to their makeup fetish.

New tests by Consumer Reports indicate that "anti-wrinkle creams" are bullshit. They join numerology, juice-based "cleanses," buttocks-toning shoes, autism-causing vaccines, cookie diets, the science of "branding," wine criticism, and "pheromone"-infused body wash on the list of Bullshit Things.

This, and other burning questions, will terrorize you for nights on end after you read this article on the art of telegenic spray-tan sculpting.

Interesting news on the personal grooming front: