Here at last is the last school of female fish, swimming their vloggy way to you for evaluation. (Sorry, it's been a very long day.) On the buffet are Jacqulyn Joy, Mary Matthews, Aida Mollenkamp, Uta Ritke, and Eva Sollberger. They await your vote after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

There's light at the end of the tunnel, but not before you render an opinion on another crop of aspiring videoblogging he-men. Well, okay, there's one more round of men after this, but really, that will be it. Promise. Don't hold that against Greg Rose, Gabe Mac, Rick Rey, Chris Ritke, and Gary Vaynerchuk. They have every right to be here, and are, after the jump, where they await your vote.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Eventually, even the womenfolk defy easy categories. Hence, the first of two catchall girly rounds to polish off this excessive day of polling. Herein are Brookers, Christine, Ximena Falla, Randi Jayne, Jenny Lee, and Sarah Meyers. Find their vote-holes after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Getting even more diverse as we drill further into the depths of vlog hotness, and of course, I mean that in a good way. Why else would this wildcard round lead with none other than Nick Douglas, followed by Juan Falla, John Herman, Eric Rey, and Bill Streeter. Here comes the jump; you know the vote-drill.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

More glamazonia! Can't throw a rock without hitting some elaborate coiffes in this category; don't let the casual moppets fool you on some of these kids. Primpees include Brigitte Dale, Sara Gore, Micki Krimmel, Cecile Raubenheimer, and Maria Sansone. Lust away, and vote after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

We're turning the corner into the homestretch, but how to classify most of videobloggers anyway? Call them wildcards from here on out, as most of them are all over the place, subject-wise. This first heat sports the likes of Peter Bragiel, James Comans, Cyrlille de Lasteyrie, some guy called Ze Frank, Kary Rogers, and Josh Shipp. Click and vote.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

This round includes specimens on the more glamorous end of the vlogger spectrum. Celebrity schmoozing, natural hotness, or affected personal style were the tickets into this race. On deck: Violet Blue, Gala Darling, Adriana Gascoigne, Casey McKinnon, and Sara Schaefer. Do that jump thing with the voteyness.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

The toothsome foursome above rounds out the second heat of newsboys. Yes, we'll give you these tastes from now on, because even we are sick at looking at the logo on every post (beautiful though it is). This round forces a choice among the charms of Rich DeMuro, Rudy Jahchan, Daniel McVicar, and Chad Ruble. After the jump, pick your poison.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

And here's the second round of gadgetish tech chicks, each one silently pleading for your elecoral support. Present/accounted for are Veronica Belmont, Cali Lewis, Caroline McCarthy, Molly Wood, and Yue Xu. Hit that jump and vote that vote.






If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

More boys for you! We're defining "news" very loosely here (not to mention "boy"), but there is at least a pretense towards conveying some kind of informational communication in most of these vlogs, at least sometimes. Some hugging, likely no learning. On tap are Pedro Andrade, Alex Blagg, David Hauslaib, Drew Olanoff, and George Oliphant. Vote, jump, et cetera.






If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Now let's get into the serious stuff of nerdy fap-dreams — the geek girls. Or at least the girls who appear in video blogs on tech-friendly subjects. In this round, choose from Natali Del Conte, Iria Gallardo, Erin McNamara, Kristin Reilly, Irina Slutsky, and Karina Stenquist. Vote after the jump, minions.






If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Moving right along, here's the second crop of primo boyflesh for your delectation. The menu includes Alex Albrecht, Loren Feldman, Steve Garfield, Jonathan London, Kevin Rose, and my man Gary Ruplinger. Voting commences after the jump.






If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Here we have the second round of newsy-type females. After this it's going to get a little questionable, then a little scary. So hit the jump to vote for these ladies, elsewise you make them cry. And when they cry, they kill.






If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Continuing today's massive overload of Vlog Hot polling effluvia, here's a little something for the ladies. Gaze in wondrous adoration on the first round of dudes — these among the finest nerds to be found in the universe of netbound moving imagery. We'll try to get all the heats up today, and let polling commence through the week, or near enough as makes no difference. Votey vote vote after the jump.






If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Many thanks to the bajillions of readers who sent in nominations for the Vlog Hot poll. Prepare for a veritable blizzard of democracy as the poll launches today with over 80 video bloggers competing in 14 gendered heats (plus semis and finals!) for the big giant prize of ... what exactly? Oh yes, a photo shoot or acrylic statuette. And if you deny both prizes, we will make the statuette of you without your consent and give it to your worst enemy for use in eldritch voodoo rites. After the jump, enjoy the first clash of titans with Newsbabes Heat 1. Warning: Contains Congdon. Multiple voting now enabled!

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Our sponsors are absolutely exuberant, though rational — except when a little irrational exuberance is all hot and stuff. Because of their passionate joie de vivre is contagious, we're moved to offer this fascinating reader survey that we hope you'll take the time to fill out. If you enter your email address, you'll be entered in a drawing to win your veddy own iPod Shuffle in the hue of your choice. Usual contest rules apply.

Meanwhile, applause please for our sponsorati:

We called for hot video blogger nominations, and you answered, in droves. Just this first round has produced enough Vlog Hot contestants to produce several heats of pulse-pounding competition, but we need more, and we need more boy-types. Granted, vlogging may be the one Internet job sector dominated by pulchritudinous females, but surely there are some masculine types out there preening in front of the lens. After the jump, see the list of nominees so far; meanwhile, send your own nominations to tips@valleywag.com. Reader polls will begin next week.

CURRENT NOMINEES

Katrin Bauerfeind, Ehrensenf

Veronica Belmont, Crave

Randall Bennett, Tech Check Daily

Alex Blagg, Best Week Ever

Brookers, Youtube

Lindsay Campbell, Wallstrip

Christine, Happy Slip

Joanne Colan, Rocketboom

Amanda Congdon, Starring Amanda Congdon

Leah Culver, Wink

Brigitte Dale, TV Squad

Liza de Guia, The Map

Natali Del Conte, Textra

Zadi Diaz, Jetset

Eva the Deadbeat, Stuck in Vermont

Nick Douglas, Look Shiny

Ze Frank, The Show

Sara Gore, LX.TV

Heywood Jablome, Big Big News

Randi Jayne, Youtube

Jacqulyn Joy, Rich Pretty Girl

Micki Krimmel, Revver

Jenny Lee, Youtube

Cali Lewis, Geek Brief TV

Amber Mac, CityNews

Caroline McCarthy, Crave

Casey McKinnon, Galacticast

Erin McNamara, Digital Trends

Sarah Meyers, D7TV

Drew Olanoff, Scriggity

Paperlilies, Youtube

Puppet Tom, Myspace

Schlomo Rabinowitz, Blogspot

Cecile Raubenheimer, LX.TV

Kristin Reilly, Digital Trends

Gary Ruplinger, Youtube

Maria Sansone, The 9

Sarah Schaefer, The DL

Shauna, Scriggity

Irina Slutsky, Geek Entertainment TV

Karina Stenquist, Mobuzz

Remember — send further nominations for vlogger hotness to tips@valleywag.com.

In the fine tradition of Valleywag Hotties, we're ecstatic to present the Vlog Hot poll. Which video blogger sets your loins aflame? Or since this may be a matter of degree, which sets your loins the aflamiest? Certainly we'll have to involve the Zes and Amandas and Douglasses, but this is the nomination phase. Send in any many names of you want, with links to their video blogs (home sites, Youtube, whatever). Feel free to self-nominate. Once we have enough nominees, they'll be organized into elimination heats for reader vote. The winners (one in each gender) will receive glamorous photoshoot or an acrylic statuette of herself/himself. Submit your Vlog Hot nominations to tips@valleywag.com.

Not everyone can be a winner like our friend Rachel, but we thought we'd give some recognition to the runners-up in our Win a Date With The Assimilated Negro Valentine's Day contest, just to emphasize how close they were to a blissful evening of small hamburgers and our very own Negro. Being mentioned honorably doesn't really get you anything in this contest besides recognition, but that's the way it goes. Just a few of the great runners-up after the jump.

Thanks to everyone who shared their touching, heartfelt stories about the good they've done for black people, all in the service of winning a date at White Castle with our contributor The Assimilated Negro for Valentine's Day. The competition was stiff. We received dozens of entries from women (and a few men) of all races, all imploring us to do what we thought was right and pick them. Unfortunately, only one lucky person could be the winner, and we've printed her entry after the jump.