Griff Jenkins is the new quirky young media figure to be celebrated. Everybody rally for him now! He's pretty young, he wears sort of hipster-ish black frame glasses, and he's not afraid to take on quirky assignments like reporting live wearing only a Speedo (LOL), or inciting riots. The only thing is he works for Fox News. But he's totally not that kind of Fox News guy! When all the famous TV personalities rushed down South to cover Hurrican Gustav, who was left to cover the anarchist protests at the Republican convention? Our friend Griff! And you can't say he didn't do it quirkily:

Perhaps you've heard the news that Nike has pulled its "That Ain't Right" balls-in-face ads after an outpouring of outrage sparked largely by this very website (though we weren't the first to address it). Are you proud of yourselves, commentariat? You are feared in all corners of corporate America. But the larger point here is that advertising is getting to be a very touchy business; companies are making fools of themselves nearly every week because of the crackheaded work of one of their ad agencies. After the jump, we look at five ads that had to be yanked recently, where they went wrong, and who came out ahead. Read and learn:

Last weekend Barack Obama once again revealed his anti-Americanism when he told a crowd, "We can't drive our SUVs and, you know, eat as much as we want and keep our homes on, you know, 72 degrees all the time, whether we're living in the desert or we're living in the tundra, and then just expect every other country is going to say OK." Hey, maybe Barack can speak for the Muslims who won't eat as much as they want. But Milwaukee Journal Sentinel columnist Patrick McIlheran is sick of you arugula-scarfing elites telling him and his family what to eat. And his trip to some Jewish restaurant in New York proves he's right, somehow!

New York Sun columnist and bizarre racial thinker John McWhorter takes a wistful look back today at God and Man at Yale, crypto-fascist William F. Buckley's seminal work on how to be an uptight Ivy League conservative. Why today? Well, there's never a bad time to speak out against the outrageous marginalization of capitalism and Christianity on college campuses, in McWhorter's view, and besides, he had a column due. He thoughtfully and eloquently fellates Buckley's 1951 plea for sticks (of morality) to be inserted in asses (of Christianity) throughout our nation's top schools. And you know—not to be immodest—McWhorter can't help but see a little bit of Buckley's controversial genius in himself:

Being a limp-wristed, knee-jerk environmentalist liberal, you probably thought that Whole Foods' plan to phase out plastic bags in its stores was a good thing. Sure it is—if you love cockroaches. That's the sober warning in an editorial in the New York Post today, penned by Jeff Stier of the conservative "science" group ACSH, which is funded by Dow Chemical, Chevron, and a slew of other corporations. See, cockroaches "prefer paper (bags) to plastic," which logically means that Whole Foods is virtually holding your door open and setting up a nice buffet for the bugs! And it gets worse: they're also trying to give you asthma.

The editors at Guanabee.com made the mistake of engaging gay porn star-turned-conservative commentator Matt Sanchez in a dialog about his recent war against gay Gawkerdom and other causes. It only takes one answer from Sanchez to prompt the response "We're not really sure what the hell that meant." He then goes on to lie, babble non-sequiturs, and spout right-wing platitudes that he seems to have selected only for their outrageousness. But we're done being outraged by Matt Sanchez; we feel kind of sorry for him now. He could probably use a good therapist. After the jump, the interview's convoluted highlights.

Every year the people you probably think are the worst in the world all gather in Washington, DC for the Conservative Political Action Conference. We went once—it was kinda fun! Ann Coulter says something "shocking" every year and also GOP candidates show up to ask everyone to please vote for them. This year, John McCain—not particularly popular with the CPAC crowd to begin with—will be introduced for his talk by a video of former president and current deathless saint Ronald Reagan. This may not go over well!