The Government Shutdown — which has left children with cancer in the lurch, food benefits cut off, and members of congress still handsomely paid, along with a myriad of other bad stuff — has barreled into its fifth day, with still no substantive progress on a deal that would restore the Federal government.

For the first time in 17 years, the U.S. Government has shut down, as Congressional Republicans refused to pass a budget resolution funding the federal government without attaching provisions to delay or defund Obamacare.

With the deadline just hours away, Congress has a lot of work to do before almost certainly letting the government fall into a partial shutdown. This is what will (probably) happen today.

Sean Eldridge, husband of Facebook cofounder Chris Hughes, debuted his first “why I’m running” for Congress ad in a tweet during the Emmys. The ad makes no mention of Hughes, Eldridge’s background at Freedom to Marry, or the fact that he bought his way into the 19^th district.

A Democratic congressman from California who spent 23 years teaching British literature decided to go old school on Republican lawmakers who oppose the comprehensive immigration reform bill — by grading a letter they wrote to House Speaker John Boehner expressing their position on the matter.

There are, in total, 29 U.S. Senators and Representatives who changed their positions regarding same-sex marriage since it was first voted on in 1996. Of those 29 politicians who no longer support DOMA, 24 signed an anti-DOMA amicus brief earlier this year. Still in office are 43 members of Congress who supported DOMA and continue to do so, as well as 31 politicians who always opposed the measure.

The IRS official in charge of tax-exempt organizations will plead the Fifth Amendment and refuse to answer a Congressional committee's questions. That should go over well.

The US Army is kind of over the M-1 Abrams tank. At more than $7 million a pop, there's not much call for the heavy gas-guzzlers on modern battlefields. But some of the most conservative self-styled deficit hawks on Capitol Hill refuse to do away with their treaded gravy train.

Duncan Hunter is a Republican California congressman. He's a congressman because his daddy was a congressman. Raymond Odierno is the highest-ranking general in the Army. He is an Army general because he's proven good at killing people. Sometimes those people are the enemy. Last Thursday, on CSPAN, Duncan Hunter became the enemy.

Everything old is new again. Congressional Republicans issued a report on the 2012 Benghazi consulate attacks yesterday that basically blames then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for everything—and calls her a liar to boot.

Working off of this column in the New York Post that suggests we should make members of congress take IQ tests—tests which, according to this guy, will quiz people on their knowledge of guns— the gang over at Fox and Friends all chimed in to support the notion. "Nobody'd be in congress!" Steve Doocey says to no one before chuckling at his own joke. Gretchen Carlson, meanwhile, was already busy thinking about the next step: when are they going to mandate IQ tests for the people that make the IQ tests for congress? "Nobody'd be left in the world!" Steve Doocey notices.

While he attempts to put pressure on Congress to pass federal measures that would increase gun control, President Obama is visiting Colorado today to draw attention to its recently passed gun control laws.

In a letter yesterday, President Obama informed Congress that 40 troops, mostly Air Force logistics specialists, have been sent to Niger to establish a new drone base that will run surveillance in west Africa. The drones will support the French-led efforts against extremists in Mali, and is the latest maneuver in a steady US military build-up on the continent.

Late Wednesday evening, the White House announced it had ordered the Justice Department to release to two Congressional intelligence committees the memos containing the legal justifications for drone strikes against U.S. citizens. The announcement comes two days after NBC News released a confidential memo that detailed similar information, and one day before the Senate confirmation hearing of Obama's nominee for CIA director, John Brennan, who is considered the chief architect of the administration's escalated use of drones. Before today, neither the White House nor the Justice Department had acknowledged the memos's existence.

Looking at the latest favorability figures is enough to establish that congress is wildly unpopular.

Friday, Congress finally approved a $9.7 billion package to pay flood insurance claims from Hurricane Sandy. The measure was supposed to come to a vote earlier in the week, but was tabled by House Speaker John Boehner, drawing much criticism from both Democrats and his fellow Republicans alike.

House Republicans have re-elected Rep. John Boehner as the Speaker of the House, once again.

After almost killing the fiscal cliff deal over the course of a few bizarre hours yesterday, you'd think it'd be impossible for House Republicans to make themselves look any more cruel and petty...

When I was in college I would do this thing where I would procrastinate on papers for days or weeks or months before finally buckling in and getting to work with, oh, 12 hours left before the thing was due. Then I would work furiously for a bit before giving up in the end and wrapping the paper up as sloppily as possible. It would be 3 a.m. and I would be in the library and I would say to myself, "I'm tired and I need to go home." I wasn't very good at college which is why I'm now a blogger — that's a lesson for you children.

Sure, the U.S. Congress is the butt of its fair share of jokes. People call it corrupt, out of touch, and a plague on the very concept of democracy. But give Congress its due: it's also incredibly unproductive.