As part of the crafty strategy to turn Confessions of a Shopaholic into a public service announcement about the evils of consumerism, rather than a shiny orgy of labels that had the bad luck to come out during the worst recession in decades, Sophie Kinsella, author of the novels on which the movie is based, wants to teach us how to resist our urge to spend. Her fount of wisdom, which obviously springs from a heartfelt concern for women's financial well-being rather than from a contractual obligation to Touchstone Pictures, is full of gems.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to everything new, noteworthy and machete-wielding at the movies. This week: Isla shops, Clive broods, Joaquin departs (we think), and pretty much everyone at Camp Crystal Lake dies.

Did Confessions of a Shopaholic author Sophie Kinsella slip something into David Colman's spritzer when they lunched at Bergdorf's, or was he simply so blissed-out by a visit to his favorite place in the world that he decided to redefine the term "puff piece" when writing up the interview for the Times? The movie, which opens tomorrow and stars Isla Fisher and a parade of Patricia Field outfits, is not poorly timed at all, nor a glorification of shopping, we learn, but functions as "a comical allegory for the last 15 years."

Any armchair economist can sit down today and point out last year's indications of a New Depression. The one he'd likely miss occurred when Isla Fisher nabbed the lead in Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Tumblrer fat manatee points out today just how unfortunately timed the new movie Confessions Of a Shopaholic really is. The film, based on a popular book series, is about a credit-obsessed New York City gal (the previously likable Isla Fisher) who just loves to shop and shriek (a lot) and say zany things like "you speak Prada??" There's a part in the trailer (above) where the Shopaholic animalisticly tries to dig her emergency credit card out of a big block of ice. She'd been keeping it in the freezer, but now she needs to spend! It's like watching a heroin addict lick a diner counter for stray poppy seeds. It's like, a metaphor for now, you know?

When those photos of Isla Fisher dressed up in ridiculous outfits as shopaholic Becky Bloomwood started floating around early last summer, it didn't seem as if Jerry Bruckheimer, the producer of the Confessions of a Shopaholic movie, was taking much of a risk with his frothy, comic chick flick. How was he to know that just six months later, reckless spending and drowning in debt would be a horribly sore subject?

When choosing between months of intensive studies spent hunched over a Torah preparing for your kiddushin (that's betrothal for you goyum, which are non-Jews for you...non-Jews), and becoming a big star, it seems Isla Fisher has decided to go with the latter. As the Daily Mail reports, the potential redheaded successor to Lucille Ball's slapstick throne has put off the conversion process in order to complete filming Confessions Of A Shopaholic. And fiance Sacha Baron Cohen's ultra-religious parents just don't see what all this movie stardom fuss is all about. The wedding date has reportedly been postponed, Cohen's gone back to making Israelis cry as Bruno, and the wee Cohen baby is presumably in the hands of the only au pair they could find who hasn't seen Borat. But Fisher isn't the first actress to undergo conversion to Judaism for a guy — from Liz Taylor to Connie Chung, a diverse handful of stars became Jews in the name of love, though not every shattered wine glass led to a happy ending...

Seeing as contemporary genre godmother Nora Ephron wouldn't be interviewed for today's taxonomy of chick flicks in the New York Times, we didn't know how or even if author Michael Cieply could compensate for the vast accompanying vacuum of perspective. But after a few moments considering the revisionist dynamics of forthcoming films like Ephron's Julie & Julia and Confessions of a Shopaholic — both evidently appealing to younger male viewership — we suddenly knew there was only one capable replacement worth getting on record. And it has a Y chromosome:

What would happen if The Devil Wears Prada knocked up Sex and The City: The Movie and they had five kids? Besides the birth of our worst nightmare, that is? Well, Disney's upcoming Confessions of a Shopaholic franchise will be sashaying from its likely pink carpet premiere to a theater near you (sorry) next Valentine's Day. The British books, penned by Sophie Kinsella, starred a clumsy heroine who manages to be even less likable than Bridget Jones. Pictures from the set of the film have just starting rolling in, and while we want to believe Isla Fisher can save the movies from being chick flick throwaways, the sight of her in this over-the-top (even for the Brits) bridesmaid dress doesn't exactly put our minds at ease. [Just Jared]