It didn't take long for freelance ad designers (cough) to rise to the occasion after news leaked today that movie star Johnny Depp would think hard about helping to pump out advertisements for Trojan's "Magnum" line of plus-sized condoms. Predictably, the first batch of would-be ads are based on the actor's work in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, but there are probably some disturbing posters to be made from Sweeney Todd or Charlie in the Chocolate Factory stills, as well. (Click the thumb for a larger version of the ad parody.) [Fug]

Oh my! Johnny Depp, "subversive" entertainer of children, is very likely going to be the next spokesman for Trojan brand prophylactics. Specifically, uhm, the "Magnum" sized line of the gentleman's product that is typically used by sailors. Depp hasn't officially signed on, but as a "source" (hilariously) stated: "He's very interested and he's trying to figure out if he can fit it in." The ad company has a slogan all lined up in the hopes that Capt. Jack Sparrow (a sailor) follows through: "Stand up with Johnny for safer sex." The ribald, off-color advertisements will most likely appear in picture houses during a shore leave. Land lubbers are not expected to be influenced by the ad because, well, that would be like wearing a raincoat in the shower! [Showbiz Spy] After the jump, a saucy video-pamphlet for jimmy hats that was banned from the airwaves.

These days, of course, Sundance is less a film festival than a promotional platform for marketers such as Anheuser-Busch that burnish themselves by association with celebrities. Or, as 5WPR chief and Joe Francis supporter Ronn Torossian boasted this week on his blog: "All of our partner brands receiving tremendous influencer relations." So how does the self-important New York publicist work his PR magic? With Kim Kardashian in a condom-dispensing photo booth. Lifestyles is a client. Kim Kardassian is somebody. And Complex Magazine undoubtedly endeared itself to its cool kid readers by cosponsoring the 5W party where the Hilton sisters danced on tables while watching DJ AM spin, a scene Ronn describes as "like watching Michael Jordan play basketball I suppose." Classy!

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.