MasterCard has just released a new credit card for the good people of Dubai—the good, rich, rich, rich people. The Dubai First Royale MasterCard is invitation-only, offered to a "select" group of elites who "must possess the right criteria in terms of social standing and profile." And are very rich. The card itself is diamond-studded—practical and functional. It offers benefits like a huge credit line and a personal concierge. Neither you nor we shall ever have one of these. Sob. Below, a guide to other deluxe credit cards neither of us will ever be invited to own; press your nose to the glass and salivate at the pretty, pretty plastic.