Consumers of Hebrew National meat products are suing its manufacturer, ConAgra Foods, for allegedly using non-kosher beef in the production of the brand's widely recognized comestibles.

Are you a weary office drone who chokes down a dry, overpriced sandwich from the local deli in front of your computer every day, wishing that you could take a full hour to relax and eat some quality food for once in your miserable life? Well the ConAgra corporation feels your pain! And in order to help you they've enlisted someone you, the little people, can look up to: Ivanka Trump. She is using a modern "blog" to reach all the depressed, overworked potential ConAgra lunch customers! It all began last week, when Ivanka, daughter of The Donald and main squeeze of The Jared Kushner, informed the public via some blog that she would soon be setting up a "lunch trade" to revitalize your boring existence:

The Times follows up on the news last week that Ivanka Trump is planning to introduce a line of lunch foods in partnership with ConAgra. So what is it that the real estate heiress is planning to offer up to busy office workers? Microwave meals called "Healthy Choice Fresh Mixers," which can be stored in a desk for up to a year with no refrigeration required. [NYT, previously]

Ivanka Trump has a big, new business venture in the works. What is it? No one seems to know for sure, except that her partner in the venture is the multi-national food conglomerate ConAgra and it will (finally!) free "working Americans from the lunch rut of eating the same boring, expensive or unhealthy food at their desks day after day." Why would this be an issue of concern to Ivanka, you ask? On the new blog she's set up to market the product, the heiress, model, real estate executive, jewelry designer, and reality TV star explains that she's sick and tired of shlepping her lunch to work in a brown paper bag every day.