Guess what! The Miss Universe pageant is on right now. Since nobody cares about who wins, I've decided to pull clips of the worst/creepiest/most awkward moments—just from the first hour!—and post them as your schadenfreude fix. Videos inside.

As we've come to learn from previous seasons, Top Chef's "Restaurant Wars" is quite the pressure cooker and always creates tension amongst the cheftestants. Tonight was no different as both Kenny and Kevin finally lashed out at Alex. Video inside.

Miles is seriously fascinated with death. For this week's challenge he wanted to make something pretty from something deadly. The obviously insane conclusion for him was to use mustard gas, a substance that could kill everyone in the studio.

After a difficult day of an Ethiopian quickfire challenge and prep for a tasting with diplomats, Angelo decided to prank an inebriated Ed with the classic plastic wrapped toilet. At least Ed wasn't drunk enough to make an actual mess.

Trash talking, name calling, alcohol, and parties, oh my! On last night's Hell's Kitchen, it looked like the guys were all bros and the girls were chatty and catty. Next up: cafeteria fight and hallway brawl flashbacks? Video inside.

There are a number of ways to celebrate winning $50,000 on Wipeout. For reasons unknown, this contestant decides to express his joy with an earth-shattering yell. Video inside.

During tonight's Top Chef quickfire, the cheftestants stepped outside their comfort zone and used exotic proteins in their dish. Among some of the more odd choices were emu eggs, duck tongue, and duck white kidneys, aka duck testicles. Video inside.

We've all indulged in food porn at one point—heck, you can argue Top Chef fits the criteria itself—but in this clip, Angelo took this fetish to another level as he described his special relationship with food. Watch inside.

Last night Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch premiered on VH1. Given Chad's proclivity for showmanship in his touchdown celebrations, the show seemed promising. Unfortunately, it was just like every other VH1 dating show, but with sports. The disappointing video is inside.

If you happened to turn the channel to CBS around 8:20pm tonight you may have seen thirteen grown men and women in bike shorts zip-lining across their backyard on giant, slippery hot dogs. That's right. Big Brother is back.

America's Got Talent has had some pretty unusual acts, even reaching beyond a William Hung level. However, Airpocalypse, an air guitar band, is in a league of its own. Also tonight, some of the other acts got snarky and resentful.

Tonight on Top Chef, the cheftestants were hit in the jugular when asked to bake a pie for the quickfire (judged by Johnny Iuzzini, future host of Top Chef: Just Desserts). Most opted for "savory" pies, and, well...

Alice Tan Ridley has made a living for the past 20 years performing in the NYC subway. Oh, she's also Precious star Gabourey Sidibe's mother. But yesterday on America's Got Talent, all eyes were on Ridley. Her inspiring performance, inside.

Martin Tyler is an English "football" commentator and was one of two ABC announcers during this afternoon's England-USA World Cup game. After the American goal that tied things up, Tyler repeatedly—and condescendingly—cried foul. Videos of his whining, inside.

The ninth season (I know, right?) of American Idol just wrapped up, and overall, it was a pretty good show. The highlight, though, was the return of Paula Abdul, who semi-awkwardly paid tribute to departing judge Simon Cowell. Videos inside.

It's time for the season finale of American Idol! Tonight, at 8:00 PM ET on FOX, either Crystal Bowersox or Lee DeWyze will win, Simon Cowell will say farewell, Paula Abdul might show up, and more! Your open thread, inside.

Tonight marks night one of the two day American Idol, with your Top 2—Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze—set to duke it out live for your votes on FOX at 8:00 PM ET. More inside, plus your open thread.

It's that time again! Tonight—from 8:00 to 9:00 PM ET on ABC—this season's three remaining Dancing with the Stars hopefuls will sashay across the ballroom for the judges' scores and your votes. More inside, plus your open thread.

Guess what! There were other things on TV tonight besides the LOST finale. One of those things was the last episode of The Celebrity Apprentice. And, somehow, Bret Michaels made it to the live event. That, and the winner, inside.

It's time for American Idol! Tonight, at 8:00 PM ET on FOX, the Top 3 will perform live for our votes—singing one song of their choice, and one chosen by the judges. More inside, plus your open thread.