After taking his time leaving Cuba's Communist Party, Fidel Castro wrote today that he's finally done: "Raul knew that at this time I wouldn't accept any role in the party." They just don't make dictators like they used to.

It seems that "former" Cuban leader Fidel Castro pulled a funny on everyone! After having surgery in 2006 to stop intestinal bleeding, Fidel issued a statement saying his brother Raul would temporarily be taking charge of Cuba. But in a new column the old timer states that the people of Cuba "affectionately" called him the leader of the Communist Party even though he really wasn't (sort of) and didn't want to be (kind of). According to Fidel:

Ronald Reagan would have turned 100 years old today, and there are celebrations galore across the country. How are you celebrating the life of the Greatest American Who Ever Lived? Let's remember the Gipper today with this classic straight-shooter moment.

Everyone wants to know... who had the bigger rally in DC, Glenn Beck or the socialists? The AP and The Washington Post both say Beck drew a bigger crowd to his "Restoring Honor" rally in August. Liberals lose again.

The Russian spy story continues: A mid-twenties software tester at Microsoft, Alexey Karetnikov, has been deported on immigration charges and is said to be the 12th member of the spy ring. Last chance for reporters to overuse Cold War clichés!

Just after the Fourth of July in 1962, the US government detonated a hydrogen bomb above the earth's atmosphere, calling it "Starfish Prime." The Honolulu Advertiser's front page read: "N-Blast Tonight May Be Dazzling: Good View Likely." Nukes are fun!

Hooray, the Cold War is back and awesome. The U.S. government has arrested 10 Russian secret agents who were working "long-term" on getting all of our juiciest bits. Cables from Moscow were intercepted and everything! Holy potatoes.

Did Starbucks just raise prices or lower prices? Both. From each according to his ability, and to each according to his need. Starbucks is fomenting socialism through macchiato pricing.

Don't ask Web 2.0 (TM) evangelist Chris Messina about his business plan.