As Facebook grows up with the help of its adult chaperones, the changes are starting to manifest themselves. The site has been redesigned; advertising schemes, experimented with. Most importantly, CEO Mark Zuckerberg's voice has been neutered to soothe investors instead of reminding them that he's CEO, bitch. Today's featured commenter, Drunken Economist, comes to us with a joke to explain what's really going on:

At Valleywag, we pride ourselves on asking the obvious question that everyone else seems to be avoiding. But today we failed you, dear readers, with our review of Gogo's WiFi in the sky. Thankfully, our ever-helpful commenters like bjs don't let the public's truly pressing concerns slip through our fingers:

The random scuttlebutt this morning was that Google might buy Valve — makers of fine slacker software such as Half Life and Team Fortress 2. But the fun came to a stop when Valve's marketing chief quashed the rumors. Or did it? Today's featured commenter, fullman, gives us a pictorial glimpse of what the Google-Valve merge could have given us:

If capitalism is supposed to reward great ideas, then how come it's often hard to believe some of these entrepreneurs ever became as successful as they did? After YouTube cofounder Chad Hurley suggested text will be replaced by video in ten years, the only explanation there could possibly be is luck, according to a lovably grumpy rant by FaceMelter:

I'm a pretty simple guy. Hand me a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck and a Xbox controller and I won't bother you for a couple of hours, if not, days. So these posts talking about the harbinger of financial doom is upon us is like trying to understand the Bush Doctrine — I don't get it. Thankfully we have today's featured commenter, madox, to teach, correct, and maybe make you a little bit of money:

Twitter is now creeping into weirder territories with the revelation of funeral tweeting. Is there an etiquette rule for this? Unless Miss Manners starts using Twitter, we may never know. Either way, sample032, today's featured commenter, has thought up a novel way for Twitter to start making revenue. Excuse me for a second while I don my flame-retardant suit for this one:

The writers here at Valleywag have to move fast. So when Carlos Slim Helú invests in the New York Times we just went with the headline that popped in our heads. Today's featured commenter, Migrant Blogger, did a good job at filling in our shoes:

A green version of Wikia, Jimmy Wale's for-profit followup to Wikipedia? On this subject, our featured commenter of the day, dannyisme, explains how Jimmy is really helping:

I thought Ashton Kutcher at TechCrunch50 was just some elaborate year-long Punk'd episode. Ooma? Blah Blah Girls? But it turns out it's actually just Michael Arrington's publicity bait! Well today's featured commenter, Rachel Marsden, shares with us a glimpse of her ass-kicking notoriety:

Not to freak you out or anything but now that Google is time-sharing a satellite with the Department of Defense. What could possibly go wrong? Today's featured commenter, mayer, has an inkling of an idea:

Marc Andreessen invented the friggin' Netscape browser. Have you heard of it? He also wants you to know that he's the idea guy who shifted your computing paradigm by getting Netscape to develop webtop software. So while gabbing at the Churchill Club, Andreessen slyly noted the realization of his ideas. By Google. Today's featured commenter, WilliamMarkFelt, explains the thing about ideas:

We implored for stories of real engineers in Silicon Valley — the ones that messes with diodes, PCBs, chips, nuts and bolts. But what we got is a heart-warming rant by roybar, today's featured commenter, about what's wrong with the Valley in the first place:

A close examination of the Google Chrome team's photos reveals some sexy geek muscles:

So Google launched a browser, did you hear? Well you should have by now considering that Google slipped up and sent the promotional comic book about the project early. Today's featured commenter, giddieup, knows how the breakdown in communication occured:

If the Valley was like Hollywood, Hansup Yoon's story would have been the feel-good coming-of-age movie during Oscar season. Seriously, the kid makes a web forum and is able to make more money off Zune than Microsoft? Where's Sorkin on this? Lawrence, today's featured commenter, explains to those drinking the hatorade:

Those Europeans like to make money just like Americans do but this year they've been holding off on making as much investments. What's going on? Today's featured commenter, Spy from the Land of Rainpeople, pithily explains:

Our summary of social-network operator Ning's tiff with a widgetmaker sparked a vicious name-calling riot in the comments. Elvenjewel became today's featured commenter by providing a helpful summary of the fracas, which proved more interesting than the Ning dispute:

The thought of Steve Wozniak gallivanting around the Bay Area like it's his own personal kingdom touches my geek heart. But Woz inspired today's featured commenter, FlakJack, to pursue an interesting parenting technique:

I always knew Meg Whitman reminded me of someone. Our ruthless commenter spells out why she could cut it as McCain's VP:

What can you do when your expensive iPhone with the expensive monthly plan just doesn't work? Class action lawsuit! Class action lawsuit! And that's exactly what one Alabama woman did. Donk In A Box, today's featured commenter, calls the case as he sees it: