Doug Herzog Has Some 'Splainin' To Do Day continues on Defamer, as THR notes that South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone used their time at the TCAs yesterday to unload on Comedy Central for pulling their Tom Cruise-teasing "Trapped in the Closet" episode from the rerun schedule because of pressure from the Viacom-cherished actor (Paramount's M:i:III was soon to be released), and for censoring an image of Mohammed they included in another episode. THR has CC head Herzog's reaction to these additional disgruntled employees:

Dave Chappelle has had plenty of opportunities to try to explain why someone might abandon a hit TV show in the middle of production and escape to South Africa, a move that resulted in the likely forfeiture of a $50 million contract and invited the world to openly question his sanity. Pity Comedy Central head Doug Herzog, who's had no invitations to tell his side of the story to Oprah, James Lipton, or Anderson Cooper. Knowing that his relationship with Chappelle was effectively destroyed by Comedy Central's airing of the "Lost Episodes" of Chappelle's Show, an exasperated Herzog, tired of months of questions about what he did to induce a schizophrenic fugue state in his network's most recognizable talent, finally got to return some fire at the TCAs yesterday. TV Week's blog reports:

Those of you who tuned in to Comedy Central on Sunday night to get a look at the first installment of the three-part Chappelle's Show "Lost Episodes" and squealed with delight as Dave Chappelle drop-kicked a white baby (as we did, because we hate tiny honkies!) may be excited to discover that someone has leaked the second and third shows onto the internets. Blogger Jackson West (a sometime contributor to sister site Fleshbot) has links to the torrents if you can't wait two weeks to see the last of Chappelle's abandoned children, as well as an intimation by a source at Comedy Central that the network leaked the source disk for reasons (DVD promotion? A loathing of broadcast advertising income? ) that are inscrutable to us. "Enjoy yourself, bitches" indeed.

After some ten years of inane genius, South Park's "distinguished acheivement and meritious service" was recognized last night with a Peabody. Other honorees included House, Boston Legal and Battlestar Galactica, but there's nothing quite so compelling as watching Comedy Central continue its goofy march towards legitimacy.

Peabody Award-winning animated series (we're still trying to wrap our minds around that one) South Park faces an interesting artistic dilemma: Namely, for a show whose main raison d'etre is to poke massive, battering ram-sized holes into society's last remaining taboos, where do you go after a tour-de-force, pedophilia-themed season premiere? Well, if your network refuses to allow you to incite an anti-US jihad by broadcasting cartoon images of Mohammed, you simply do the next best thing: Turn the disagreement into an episode, and throw in Jesus shitting on Bush and the flag for good measure.

It would have been tough for South Park to top the Scientology-bashing of "Trapped in the Closet," the episode that started the whole fracas in the first place. They may have succeeded, however, with their much anticipated season premiere, titled "The Return of Chef!" As has been reported just about everywhere, Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef and a longtime Scientologist, released a damning statement just weeks ago, announcing that he was abruptly quitting the series after nine seasons. A FoxNews.com report then suggested that Hayes has been recovering from a stroke and that this "decision" was made for him. The plot (spoilers if you haven't seen it yet) accounts for either circumstance: It follows a thoroughly brainwashed Chef returning from an extended absence during which he traveled the world with the Super Adventure Club—a group of monocled and mustachioed Col. Mustard types who just happen, it turns out, to enjoy raping the local children they encounter on safari. Chef speaks in mostly crudely patched-together dialogue, expressing in various ways his desire to "get in kids' butts." If that's not enough of a dishonorable sendoff for the beloved character, then there's the protracted death sequence that culminates in a Grizzly Man-inspired scenario. In the end, however, is this heartfelt eulogy delivered by Kyle:

The Battle for Our Souls currently being waged between the forces of good and evil (South Park and Scientology, in no particular order) rages on: The show can impressively churn out a brand new, ripped-from-the-headlines adventure for Stan, Cartman and the gang in about a week, which gives them ample time to address Isaac Hayes' recent controversial departure from the series in Wednesday's season premiere.

Regardless of where you stood on the "love-tolerate-hate-Jon Stewart-Oscar-hosting-assessment-continuum," the numbers don't lie: 100,000 additional viewers not-hated his performance enough to tune into The Daily Show in the days following the telecast for an extra helping of his pointed political satire and overcooked double takes:

When it came to his role as Chef on South Park, Isaac Hayes could rarely have been accused of not being a good sport: If an episode called for him to sing of his "Chocolate Salty Balls," he'd launch into the lyrics with soulful abandon. But after a ninth season that featured some of the series' most blasphemous material including perhaps the single most scathing indictment of his own religion, Scientology, ever broadcast Hayes has reached his breaking point. He recently released a statement in which he demanded to be let out of his South Park contract:

Fans of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report not satisfied by the fifteen times a day the shows are played on Comedy Central can now download episodes through iTunes, either on an a la carte basis or through a monthly subscription of $9.99 for a month's worth of episodes. [Variety]
The success of My Name is Earl and The Office fill trendfucking networks execs wild with single-camera lust, as nearly half of all comedy pilots ordered will eschew the laugh track. [THR]
Despite the fact that CBS is trying to sue him back to the telegraph era, Howard Stern will appear on Letterman on Monday to battle Les Moonves on his turf. [Variety]
More pilot casting madness: Dennis Miller and Joe Mantegna join the cast Bonnie Hunt's untitled detective comedy (detectives are the new psychics) for ABC, Chris Elliott signs up for a semi-autobiographical comedy with CBS, and The CW risks comedy crib death by talking with Nick Lachey about starring in its first sitcom pilot. [THR]
John Cusack will star in the adaptation of the Stephen King short story 1408 for Dimension, granting him a temporary stay of romantic comedy career execution. [Variety]

We're struggling to think of the last time a single performer had an entire network by the balls the way Dave Chappelle is currently gripping Comedy Central's tenders. Jerry Seinfeld's mastery of NBC's domain in the 1990s? And yet Seinfeld managed to show up for work and provide them with a weekly ratings powerhouse. Chappelle, on the other hand, abandons his ridiculously well-compensated, creatively autonomous showcase; then, when the network has the gall to air what material he did manage to deliver, the comedian interprets it as a "bully move" and threatens never to return. And how does the network respond to this chutzpah-heavy game of chicken? With the "official written statement" equivalent of "Parking space still got your name on it, Big Dave Man!"

Perhaps the most outrageous and offensive South Park episode of all time (and that's really saying something), "Bloody Mary," which first aired Dec. 7 as this season's finale, was pulled from the network schedule last night.

· Someone at Comedy Central finally asks, "Hey, what happened to the stuff we paid for before Dave Chappelle ran out on us?" and now plans to air the bits and pieces of Chappelle's Show's aborted third season sometime in 2006, both online and on TV. Among the highlights is the eerily prescient sketch, "Dave Takes Comedy Central's Money and Flees For Some Chill-Out Time in South Africa," starring, of course, the ghost of Rick James. [Variety]
· Fox confirms that a Fantastic Four sequel is a go. They boldly plan a July 4, 2007 release—at least until another studio comes along and stakes out the holiday weekend for its bigger, better blockbuster, at which time FF 2 will be rescheduled for February of 2008. [THR]
· Mel Gibson's newly established Con Artists Productions sets up four TV projects, three of which are legal dramas—one invoking LA Law, one recalling Moonlighting, and one also incorporating medical drama, which we will refer to as an Night Court/St. Elsewhere hybrid, just to cover all the 80s television bases. [Variety]
· ABC greenlights a comedy pilot from Ed producers Rob Burnett and Jon Beckerman. which replaces lovable, do-gooding schlump Tom Cavanaugh with lovable, wants-to-rob-a-celebrity schlump Donal Logue. [THR]
· Bravo broadens its horizons to include programs that people actually might want to watch. [Variety]

Tonight's South Park, a Tom Cruise-Scientology ridiculing episode called "Trapped in the Closet," is proving itself to be somewhat of a PR logistics problem for Viacom:

• CNN's changes had nothing to do with getting rid of Brown; that was just a coincidence. "He's really a doll to work with," says CNN chief. [NYT]
• Of course, ol' Aaron had been a "drag" on CNN's ratings. [NYP]
• Knight Ridder sale could spark industry consolidation. You know, because there are too many independently owned papers left these days. [WSJ]
• S&S EIC Micahel Korda to step down, after 938 years in job. [WP]
• Comedy Central ups Colbert Report order to a full year, ensure 11 more months of a show we sort of feel like we should be watching but also don't enjoy as we'd hoped to when we do. [E! Online]
• Jack McCoy's flannel suits too boring for your TV-crimefighting tastes? Rejoice, then, in Sleuth, NBC Universal's new cable net featuring old crime shows from The A-Team to Miami Vice. [B&C]
• Russ Smith doesn't like Arthur Sulzberger. We're shocked. [NY Press]

· Endeavor partner John Lesher leaves to head up Paramount Classics, which, as an "insider" points out, means no one in charge over there has had any experience making movies. As we pointed out earlier, why is everyone so hung up on this experience crap when there are hugs to be given out? [Variety]
· Under the stewardship of Hall of Fame reliever Rollie Fingers, DirectTV posts a $94 million profit in the third quarter of 2005. Sure, that's the default handlebar mustache joke, but had to be done. [THR]
· Matt LeBlanc is producing The Watch, a film which "revolves around a team of highly specialized soldiers sent to blow up a Nazi fuel depot, only to discover they are being hunted by an evil spirit unleashed by the Nazi's secret occult experiments." And you were worried that he'd never cultivate a respectable career in features! [THR]
· Two weeks into its run, Comedy Central picks up a full season of The Colbert Report. Since we have no wiseass comment on TCR, this would probably be a good time to wonder if The Showbiz Show has been put out of its misery yet. [Variety]

The Times today looks at Comedy Central's forthcoming Colbert Report, which debuts Monday, and considers the tough terrain faced by television spinoffs:

· Chilling factoid of the day, from a story about Rupert Murdoch's recent binge of internet-related acquisitions: "If MySpace and IGN were integrated today, News Corp. would be the fifth most trafficked network on the Web." Welcome to the RupeNet. [Variety]
· The NFL does its best water polo player impression by stomping on Seth Cohen and propelling ABC to a Thursday night ratings win. [THR]
· ABC will dub or subtitle its entire primetime lineup in Spanish, firm in the belief that no language barrier should prevent potential audiences from overrating Desperate Housewives or missing a single hilarious word uttered by Freddie Prinze Jr. [Variety]
· Comedy Central does what it can to cope with the uncertain, post-Chappelle's Show era, ordering another three seasons (42 episodes) of South Park, and hoping that Trey Parker and Matt Stone aren't going to disappear to Bolivia to chill out with a big bag of their cash. [THR]
· Tonight's multinetwork Katrina telethon won't edit out political remarks, just profanity. Acceptable: "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Unacceptable: "George Bush doesn't fucking care about black people." [THR]

• A milestone in the struggle for equality: TV networks cover a missing black and Hispanic woman the same way they usually cover missing white women. Someplace, Dr. King is smiling. [USAT]
• Surprised to learn in the Post a few days ago that Osama planned to poison our cocaine? Yeah, so was the DEA. [NYDN]
• Morgan Spurlock is coming to Comedy Central, continuing his effort to become more ubiquitous than McDonald's but not nearly as delicious. [Mediaweek]
• Interestingly, in-flight mags are not the best place for subversive political satire. Who knew? [Folio:]
• At new Bloomberg LP headquarters, Charlie Rose guests are insufficiently from the hoi-polloi reporters. The horror. [WWD]
• Bob Woodward's The Secret Man is, maybe, a very poorly selling best-seller. [Media Mob]