Picture it: You’re an 18-year-old kid from Massachusetts and you make a few YouTube videos of yourself singing humorous songs about math and banging old ladies. All of a sudden they start getting millions of hits. Then you get signed by Gersh and 3 Arts. Then, you perform at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal. Then you sign a 4-album deal with Comedy Central and film a special for the network. Then, to top it all off, Judd Apatow wants to produce a musical comedy that you’ll write the script for and star in. Did I mention that you’re fucking 18?! Well, all of those things happened to Bo Burnham, and if that doesn’t make you feel like an unaccomplished schmuck in your 20s or 30s then nothing will.Yes, according to the Hollywood Reporter, Mr. Burnham is currently in “negotiations with Universal to write and create the music for a comedy that Judd Apatow will produce. Burnham also could star in the project. The film is being described as a sort of anti-High School Musical, though it is not a parody.” Ugh. Burnham may be a talented guy, but we need to nip this trend in the bud pronto, people. If we don’t, soon we’re gonna hear that the Chocolate Rain guy will star in a Spike Lee “joint,” or that Chris Crocker will be the subject of a new Gus Van Sant bio pic. And if you find out that the Dramatic Prairie Dog scored a first look deal with Paramount, then you officially have my permission to kill yourself.

Kanye West is teaming up with Comedy Central for a new show "described as hip hop meets the muppets." It was only a matter of time. [THR]

♦ Not only is Rachel Maddow more popular than Keith Olbermann, she's now ahead of CNN's Larry King, too. [HuffPo]
♦ Sunday night's Emmy Awards generated the lowest ratings in history. [THR]
♦ MTV missed out on its chance to buy MySpace, but they have no plans to give up on their sixth-tier social network, Flux. [AdAge]
♦ Life magazine is back. For the third time. Time Inc. and Getty Images will use life.com to offer up "free, downloadable photos from world-renowned photographers." [NYP]
♦ Jeffrey Toobin, who says he "owes his TV career to [O.J.] Simpson," has no interest in covering him again, thank you very much. [TV Newser]
♦ Starbucks and ad agency Wieden & Kennedy are parting ways. [AdAge]
♦ Kanye West is teaming up with Comedy Central on a new series described as "hip-hop meets the Muppets." [THR]
♦ The Times recaps the service held on Monday night in memory of Clay Felker, the founding editor of New York magazine who died on July 1. [NYT]

What does pseudo-nationalist Stephen Colbert give his show's guests in their gift baskets? Lipstick and bacon, zing? No, that's just what a tired hack would say in a weak attempt at a joke, demonstrating why said hack will never be good enough to write for the Colbert Report. The paper of record infiltrated the Colbert green room and found this in the gift bags: "Bottled water. Altoids. Gum. Ground coffee. Tooth whitener. Vodka." In reverse order, that's exactly what politicians consume before going on the show. [City Room]

· We don't know if you'll find Norm Macdonald's bit from last night's Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget as funny as we did, but one thing's for certain—this guy put in exactly the amount of effort that a Bob Saget Roast demands. No more, no less. [Comedy Central] · We remember begging our parents to let us drop out of high school to pursue Colecovision's B.C.'s Quest for Tires full-time. They refused. We're thrilled to report, however, that for one dedicated Guitar Hero addict, things turned out a whole lot better. [Kotaku] · Yo Gabba Gabba! Toys have been available for the entire month of August, says Yo Blogga Blogga, the official Yo Gabba Gabba! production blog. [brobee.blogspot.com] ·If you missed the new The Curious Case of Benjamin Button TV spot that aired on the Olympics yesterday, here's a really crappy reproduction. [/Film]

Did you read Sunday's Times piece about how people are getting their news from Jon Stewart these days? Because I sure as heck didn't! I don't need the Times to tell me to stop reading the Times and turn on my cable box — mainly because I was pretty sure I had read that same exact story in the Times before. But this morning, as the story was still carrying the top of the "Most Emailed List," I decided to go find that old Times story I remembered. Well, it wasn't easy. There are 102 stories listed in "Past coverage" of Jon Stewart (the original Michael Phelps!), about nine of which employ the phrase "get their news from." And yet I could not for the life of me find the one I remembered actually reading. Turns out it is because, like the former "young people" who started this whole "getting news from the Daily Show" trend, I am now very very very old…Because they've been doing this story since September 2000.

· Leah Remini is in talks to join the daytime TV circuit with a new series "not necessarily thinking along the lines of a traditional talk show." Details are tight, but rumors of a home-shopping/variety hour—in which you can call in your orders for Pea-Org Vitamin-Enriched Pureed Baby Delight™ while delighting to the musical comedy stylings of Martin Short—sound promising. [THR] · The State's Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter will star in Comedy Central's Michael and Michael Have Issues, a comedy sketch show. [THR] · Savor that LAT hard-edition. Tribune reports a...*spittake*...$4.5 billion dollar loss. [Variety] · E! has hired former New Line TV exec Beth Greenwald as their VP of original programming and series development, where she'll oversee a whole new slate of reality shows about the lives of fame-hungry hydras, including the exciting Living Jackie Stallone. [Variety] · Sid Ganis has been re-elected president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, ensuring you a lengthy and satisfying pee-break at this year's Oscars. [Variety]

The recent taping of Bob Saget's Comedy Central Roast was bound to take a wrong turn sooner or later — sooner, in fact, if the comic's filthy inner circle evinced in The Aristocrats and other blue rooms over the years had anything to do with it. In fact, we'd bet dollars to donuts that the Gilbert Gottfried riff below was merely a mild, early pacesetter for an even more sordid night to come, which should roughly result in a seven-minute broadcast on Aug. 17 after the censors get a hold of it. We're told this clip is among those slashed, but really, aren't the Olsen Twin molestation gags we've been hearing about almost too easy under the circumstances? Would Candace Cameron jokes just be too on the nose? You tell us after the jump, and come on, Gil — don't get soft on us now.

This pro-Obama ad is about how "hope" is a lot like a sexually transmitted disease. It is designed to reach to the Youngs, all of whom have herpes, especially in Brooklyn. It is by MoveOn.org. In order to make sure it appeals to those cold-sored 20-somethings, it feeds their bullshit pop culture nostalgia by featuring a guy who was on Boy Meets World and a lady from that vampire show. It will be the very first political ad ever to appear on Comedy Central where it is sure to convince to all those post-racial young Larry the Cable Guy and Carlos Mencia fans to vote for Senator Obama.

Whenever a long-standing couple like Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel hit the skids, we feel the need to play Emma and set the lovelorn kids up with someone new ASAP. And since we were the ones who debunked the news that Jimmy had already rebounded with one of his writers, we feel like we should continue our tradition of suggesting a few paramours for the pair of funny people. See our suggestions after the jump.

It didn't take a tendency toward political correctness or what roastmaster Katt Williams called his "n****r Spidey sense" to perceive the more over-the-top racism in last year's Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav. From the blacks-only mandatory dress rehearsal to the "flying monkey" gags to the $11 worth of damage wreaked during Williams's reputed plastic-plate-and-utensil tantrum, we're pointed today to an epic tale of outrage and, ultimately, handsome compensation for the evening that set American race relations back roughly five days. We've come back since then, however, thanks to the equal time of this recent Williams tirade live from Las Vegas. Still, the network brass got off pretty easy; Jesse Jackson clearly would have cut their nuts off.

Viacom continues to pursue a $1 billion lawsuit against Google's YouTube for allowing video piracy. On Viacom's Comedy Central, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone aren't helping their corporate parent's legal case. In last night's episode, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny asked themselves "How Do We Make Money on the Internet?" and predictably, they find it difficult — just like YouTube. This leads to a South Park scene straight out of Viacom CEO Philippe Daumann's dreams as, one by one, the viral-video sensations that made YouTube so big are destroyed. Here's the scene in two clips, and all the popular videos it refers to:

You know the Colbert Report, and how it's really successful? And how other forms of news are less popular and some are dying? CNN noticed that too! So their Headline News channel will soon be airing Not Just Another Cable News Show, a weekly program with a light take on hard news using memorable gaffes from the past week. Time.com Washington editor Ana Marie Cox, of Wonkette fame, and noted Canadian/Huffington Post contributor Rachel Sklar will be commenters. The show, whose concept is stolen from the first segment of the Daily Show and whose title is stolen from the Wayans brothers, begins April 5. [AP]

After a touching season premiere in which Cartman learns he's been accidentally infected with HIV, South Park decided to lighten things up in the second episode of their 12th season by having Britney Spears put a shotgun in her mouth and blow off 70% of her head. (Don't worry—she lives!)

Tina Fey, arguably the most powerful vagina-having joke force in the universe, has rarely minced words in the past when it comes to some of her lesser-abled collaborators, whether describing Paula Abdul as a "disaster" or Paris Hilton as "a disease-ridden fucktard" [Ed.note: Could we have an intern verify that?] But we never expected the 30 Rock star and showrunner to run off so freely at the mouth about her comedy giant equals, such as in the case of her surprisingly harsh assessment of Jon Stewart's more politically solicitous material:

On Tuesday's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert offered what was perhaps the most moving pro-WGA moment we've seen in weeks, leading Malcolm Gladwell and the Harlem Gospel Choir in a lively rendition of the spiritual "Go Down Moses" as images of his beloved, absent colleagues scrolled across the screen; cue up the above clip and prepare to be stirred in a way you haven't been since Conan O'Brien gave us that first, utterly thrilling glimpse of his strike beard.

· Comedy Central decides not to renew The Showbiz Show for a fourth season, officially freeing David Spade from the conflict-inviting hosting duties that sometimes put him in the uncomfortable position of having to use puppets to explain how Heather Locklear's marriage was already over by the time he was banging her. [Variety]
· APA signs Graham Greene, Chris Kattan and Heather Matarazzo, a trio of "gets" that should help the agency to finally put the days of having to endure dismissive "Who the fuck invited APA?!" jokes on Entourage behind them. [THR]
· Pushing Daisies—which we enjoyed quite a bit despite the crushing hype—posts the best debut numbers of any new 8 pm timeslot show this season. (Can't ABC just funnel the entire Cavemen budget into Daises to keep that expensive, Burtonesque look?) Meanwhile, NBC's Bionic Woman pumps-and-dumps, falling off 30 percent from its first-week ratings. [Variety]
· Ehren Kruger joins Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci in writing the screenplay that director Michael Bay will use as a rough guide for where to place his giant fucking robots on Transformers 2. [THR]
· DreamWorks is wisely trying to keep their Norbit dream team of Eddie Murphy and critic-proof producer Brain Robbins intact, entering final negotiations to reunite them for the comedy A Thousand Words, the story of a guy who "only has 1,000 words left to speak before he dies." [Variety]

· Confident that Medellin left enough of Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar's life unexplored to warrant another biopic, the Yari Film Group is fast-tracking passion project Killing Pablo (starring Javier Bardem in the role immortalized by Vinnie Chase), though they likely won't be able to squeeze it in before a possible strike next summer. [Variety]
· Comedy Central thinks that Carlos Mencia has at least ten more episodes' worth of Arab and Mexican jokes in him, renewing its inexplicably high-rated Mind of Mencia for a fourth season. [THR]

Viacom and Google, last year, had agreed to experiment with distributing videos on Google's AdSense network, the system that Talking Points and other blogs use to carry ads. That trial, a Google spokesman told me earlier this year, had run its course and wasn't renewed — unsurprising, as Google and Viacom revved up legal hostilities over charges of copyright infringement on Google's YouTube video site. That raises the question: Is this a one-off ad placement — or a sign of detente between the online-video powers.

Comedy Central disappointment Dave Chappelle continues to confound his fans with a nearly impossible to anticipate performance schedule: The disappearing comic will be a no-show at scheduled engagements, but then he's been known to pop up without warning from time to time at a local comedy club, as he did Sunday night at the Laugh Factory. What set this appearance apart from the others, however, was its record-breaking, six-hour marathon length: