Former professional ballplayer Lamar Odom lies in a coma in a Nevada hospital, and TMZ is reporting that his ex-wife, professional Kardashian Khloe Kardashian, is in charge of making his life-or-death medical decisions. Because she’s not his ex-wife after all—they’re still married. Holy shit.

Former NBA star and former Kardashian Lamar Odom is reportedly in a coma and breathing with machine assistance after he was reportedly found unconscious at a Nevada brothel. TMZ, which broke the story Tuesday night, reported Odom’s heart is “failing,” and he has serious problems with his kidneys and lungs.

Polygamist leader and chronically masturbating child rapist Warren Jeffs is "in a coma and may not survive" after a hunger strike, ABC News reports. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice said the leader is in "critical but stable condition." Jeffs is serving a life sentence for with no chance of parole for 45 years for the repeated rape of two teenage wives. [ABCNews, image via AP]

Grease star and former Celebrity Rehab exploitee Jeff Conaway, 60, is in a coma. The Hollywood Reporter spoke to his manager, who says it was caused by an overdose of pain relievers. He was discovered unconscious on May 11.

Sheyla Hershey—the dysmorphic damsel who went from having the world's largest breasts to no breasts at all when her KKK-cup implants nearly killed her—is currently in a coma after a deliberate drug overdose last night, her second suicide attempt in two months.