Rabid New York Post attack columnist and X-ray pornographer Andrea Peyser finally weighs in today with her take on the Miley Cyrus uproar, and a breathless city exhales. She's upset! Now she has to add Miley to the list of pop stars "not welcome in my house" (you're on there too, Jamie Lynn Spears). But she reserves most of her contempt for Miley's dad Billy Ray Cyrus, a "one-hit wonder who lives like a leech off his billion-dollar baby." Zing! We agree the photo of the two together was a little weird. But Peyser is also mad that Billy didn't stop his teen daughter from being such a freaking idiot when she opens her mouth:

In a cost-cutting move that is, frankly, kind of sad, the DC bureau of the legendary Hearst Newspapers chain has moved into the same office space as McClatchy's DC bureau [E&P]. "They just have a small area in the back of our offices, they have three rows of work stations," a McClatchy manager said. Your front line watchdogs of democracy, ladies and gentlemen. Among the new denizens of the cramped, back office workspace is 87 year-old Hearst columnist and prime Bush tormentor Helen Thomas. She really deserves better. But, death of print and all that. Below, a classic news conference clip of Thomas questioning the president about the Iraq war, to his discomfort.

The Post's Andrea Peyser, who is like a mix of Ann Coulter, Ed Koch, and a rat with rabies, has a few things she can't stand: liberals, whiners, all things pure and good. Now you can add to that list "millimeter wave technology," an improved airport full-body security scanning method. It sees through clothes and leaves nothing to the imagination! "It's enough to make me rethink my hairstyle. I'm not referring to my head." Gross, Andrea Peyser. Jesus. She watches a woman go through the scan, and cleverly riffs, "The machine also shaved off 15 pounds, a good argument for scanning females." I get it, women are fat! Then, she insists that a man go through, so she can look at his penis:

Bizarre racial thinker and conservative columnist John McWhorter today muses over his run-ins with the smug, misguided intellectuals who infest American higher education with their "radical leftist perspective." It's a standard-issue argument against political correctness, which ignores the salient point that conservatives are just as convinced of their own righteousness as liberals, they just don't have the numbers to assert their will on most campuses. Also, a tip for McWhorter: if you don't want to get argued with, you shouldn't have worked at freaking Berkeley. He says that the documentary "Indoctrinate U," out now, will help strike a blow against closed leftist minds. We agree that liberal political correctness is terribly annoying—almost as annoying as Republicans who use it as a canard to distract the world from their happy march towards fascism. Hey, this post is like a bad Poli-Sci class! The trailer for the film that will save beleaguered Ivy League ROTC students, after the jump.

It took a day or so, but the staid and conservative New York Sun basically became the Post today, with no fewer than six stories on your New York Football Giants. Including one by beloved former Daily News columnist Lenore Skenazy. She has never watched football before, but now she has some sort of meathead son who declares that upon growing up he's "going to be a linebacker, or safety, or maybe a hot dog seller, because he loves the tongs." Ok, little Skenazy! Whatever. Then Skenazy and her husband eat "wings" and watch their very first Super Bowl ever on a "spanking new high-def projector so we can watch the game on our living room wall. We take down our French poster for the occasion." Mon dieu! Not their "French poster"! Andrea Peyser would eat these people alive. [NYSun]

It's been nearly five months since Lenore Skenazy was ditched from her perch at the Daily News. Let's catch up with her recent work at the Sun! Wednesday's column, "Witching Hour In America," begins with a bang:

There are over 1000 columnists spewing brilliance and lunacy in unfortunately unequal doses, but a survey of 154 of them turns up batshit results: when describing what it's like to write a column, "26% of salaried columnists called it a job and 17% likened it to sex." But what kind of sex? As painful as it is for us to imagine fornicating journalists (shudder), we've got our guesses: When writing, Maureen Dowd goes cowgirl, but John Tierney prefers missionary (so that's why it didnt work). Stanley Crouch would never admit it, but he can't meet deadline without bottoming; Andrea Peyser just reads like a bondage freak. And of course, Ann Coulter's just hate-fucking all sorts of fuzzy baby animals.