Remember that place called "Starbucks" back in the day? Hahaha, people used to go there and drink coffee and things and instantly stereotype themselves by walking into this "Starbucks," a magical portal to a narrowly defined world of laughable cultural stereotypes? No wonder it totally fell off the map of relevance last year and disappeared into the thoroughly unsexy world of hobo coffee.

"Nescafé has found an avid market [in Singapore] for coffee with collagen, a protein found in connective tissues, on the theory that ingesting it will improve skin." Which is false. Also: eww, gross, throwup. [NYT. Pic via]

Is coffee healthy? For the first time, scientists can definitively say, "Kind of in certain ways but in other ways probably not and for the overall question we guess it depends."

A 52 year-old man with a five-inch knife sticking out of his chest walked into a Michigan diner tonight and calmly ordered a coffee. He is currently being treated for severe caffeine addiction. [AP] [Pic via]

Workers at Goldman Sachs' buildings across New York and New Jersey are grumbling about a conspiracy. A conspiracy by the company to squeeze profit even from its own staff.

Somebody tried to kill a bunch of lab workers at Harvard Medical School two months ago, with deadly poison. This is just coming out now, because Harvard does not want you to know about its deadly coffee machines.

Whoa: It's an old Sanka ad from the 1940s that's totally racist against Mexicans. How racist? You'll just have to click to enlarge and read the whole racist thing. People like you like this stuff. We hear. [Copyranter]

We know you luv Starbucks. But Starbucks has problems. McDonald's is stealing its customers. Iconic stores are shutting down. Teenagers are planting bombs, workers are slowing down, and management's flirting with Communism. Today, Starbuck's salvation arrives: instant coffee. Uh, lowbrow.

Police in Everett, Wash., have broken up a prostitution ring operating out of an espresso stand. The baristas were the prostitutes. Welcome to the future.

Did Starbucks just raise prices or lower prices? Both. From each according to his ability, and to each according to his need. Starbucks is fomenting socialism through macchiato pricing.

Want to know how awesome starlets Lily Allen and Kate Moss stay in shape? This isn't a joke about blowcaine! You can do it, too. Kate and Lily took the most awesome Rock Chick vacay ev-ah and looked awesome. How?

• Allen & Delancey has filed for bankruptcy, but will remain open. [Eater, GS]
• A peek inside the new Oceana opening near Rockefeller Center. [Eater]
• Le Souk is reopening on Ave B and now plans to open a second location. [GS]
• New NYT dining critic Sam Sifton on having his photo all over the web: "I look different now... I'm using a comb for the first time since the 1990s." [WWD]
• Which chain has better coffee: Starbucks, Mickey D's, or Dunkin'? [Slate]
• How does Padma Lakshmi keep thin? Exercise, believe it or not. [NYT]

Thanks to the economy, coffee shops around town have been growing increasingly annoyed about customers who come in and order a single cup, and then spend the next five hours hunched in front of their laptops. Now they're taking action: "In some places, customers just get cold looks, but in a growing number of small coffee shops, firm restrictions on laptop use have been imposed and electric outlets have been locked." So don't be surprised when you hear how the next great American novel was written by someone sitting on a stoop, mooching Wi-Fi from a unsuspecting neighbor. [WSJ]

You, Starbucks worker: Your inefficiencies are showing! You lean to scoop coffee at a sub-optimal angle! You waste precious seconds with your sloppy human movements! Improve efficiency, serve coffee two seconds faster on average! Move swiftly for mother company's glory!

Politiconumerical nerd-guru Nate Silver is totally in the tank for Peet's Coffee, and uses his statistical wizardry to imply it's better than Starbucks. But is it better than McCafé? This marketing crap is your future, Nate Silver. Drink up.

McDonald's is trying to take advantage of the recession to crush Starbucks by flooding America with cheap, faux-fancy McCafé coffeé. Despité the nation's most annoyingé ad campaigné, McD's is winning the battle for the (formerly) yuppié soul:

Why did Starbucks decide to sponsor MSNBC's Morning Joe? To "promote its ethical commitments." Whatever that bullshit means. One human-like online Starbucks advocate supports them strongly!:

Good news: Coffee's not bad for you! Bad news: Unless you smoke when you drink it. But, good news: if you're an alcoholic you must drink coffee!

Are you overwhelmed today by the sheer force of the $100 million "marketing blitz" for McDonald's McCafé, the "mother of all campaigns" that's "impossible to escape"? Dié Starbucks! Drink McDonald's Coffeé Or Elsé!

For as long as mankind has occupied New York, there have been two Starbucks locations on Astor Place, a block away from each other, which occasioned many predictable remarks. No more! This means everything.