Here is a nightmare that is also real: The severed head of a cobra snake reportedly jumped out of the kitchen trash in a restaurant and killed the chef who was preparing its body as a meal. The chef, Peng Chen, had removed the head from the Indochinese spitting cobra a full 20 minutes before it bit him. One diner told the Daily Mirror, "We ... could hear screams coming from the kitchen."

Hey, terrorists! If you're considering blowing up New York but were worried about the NYPD's crack anti-terrorism team foiling your plot, don't worry: Here's what the largest police department in the country is on the lookout for. A blogger just found the plans in the trash.

For the past few days, the Bronx Zoo has been running a poll to come up with a name for the cobra that went missing from the reptile exhibit and was found, still in the reptile exhibit, alive and well. Voters have spoken, and the snake will be called "Mia." Charming.

The deadly cobra that's been missing from the Bronx Zoo for the past five days is terrorizing a middle school! No, actually, it has been found "alive and well," according to Bronx Zoo director Jim Breheny. It was in the reptile house the whole time. That was anti-climactic.

Given Peaches' history with nude scandals and Eli's with disembodied butt pics, it'd be funny if she were. We keep trying to ignore Peaches Geldof, but she won't stop posing with people's private parts, requiring NSFW ass analysis.