In your profane Tuesday media column: the FCC's indecency policy is struck down, John King is an unpopular host, Playboy's future is cloudy, and Campbell Brown has a mere two weeks left on CNN—though she has our hearts forever.

For years, Anderson Cooper has been admirably investigating the cult of Scientology. Scientology is determined to get back at AC for his lack of respect. Their latest tactic: distributing an entire magazine about AC's "History of Lies." Let's look!

Was longtime CNN reporter Octavia Nasr fired this week because she violated CNN's "social media policy" when she tweeted a political opinion? Or because of the opinion she expressed? TBI's Joe Pompeo reports.

Yesterday, a video of six Israeli soldiers dancing to Ke$ha's "TiK ToK" while on patrol (watch it here) went ~viral~. Tonight, during his interview with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Larry King broached the subject. The result was deliciously awkward.

CNN really goes to the mat for its reporters. Octavia Nasr, Middle East correspondent of 20 years, has been fired for mourning the loss of a Hezbollah spiritual mentor in a single tweet over the weekend. Truly pathetic.

Tonight on Larry King Live—the show of our generation and several previous ones—three people who have little or no contact with Lindsay Lohan (namely her father, Michael) discussed her 90-day jail sentence. Michael's reaction? "Satisfaction," baby! Video inside.

Washington Post person Howard Kurtz, on his CNN program "Reliable Sources" today got a little heated over Politico's Patrick Gavin calling his show "television's best representation of [the Washington press corps'] clubbiness." Don't cross Howie, he'll blast you on air!

The cops who busted Lindsay Lohan mistook her drug stash for a crushed mint. Tinsley Mortimer faked a relationship. John McCain loves to gamble. Things get even dicier for The Office. Hump day's gossip is full of boobs.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this lede. Larry King, my boo 4EVER and legendary, suspenders-wearing CNN broadcaster, announced his retirement tonight—and I WANT TO DIE. Inside, video of King's statement and Bill Maher's reaction.

Larry King is announcing the end of his show tonight, according to a posting on his website. He won't be leaving CNN and will "continue to contribute... with periodic specials." Click through for statement, speculation, and CNN memos.

CNN anchor Anderson Cooper doffed his prissy parka for a tight T-shirt for a new weekly series about the environment. But if you look at this ad, you'll see the show's been underwritten by polluting chemical company Dow. Uh oh!

Man, this whole Oil Spill thing is such a downer. If only someone could help us see the brilliant rainbow in the inky black slick. CNN to the rescue! Today they have found the 'good side' of the Oil Spill!

In your hateful Thursday media column: CNN staffers hate Eliot Spitzer, Newsweek hates China, a former Newsday editor moves to NY1, the NYT gets itself a fancy "Tumblr," and whites spotted on the teevee.

What happens when sex fiend Eliot Spitzer and Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker get together on CNN at 8 p.m.? They make out. No, they talk about politics 'n' stuff! Introducing your new CNN primetime debate show.

Larry King hosted a live benefit tonight for... the Gulf of Mexico? Anyway, just like King's last benefit (seriously, watch this), it was a clusterf*ck. But Justin Bieber's weird/slow/gangsta "plea," and King's creepy response, took the awkward cake. Video inside.

Page Six is flogging a rumor that America's Got Talent judge (and actual journalist) Piers Morgan will take over for CNN's ratings-plagued Larry King in October. We really want the guy to retire, but can't we do better than Piers?

In your odd Tuesday media column: a NYT Magazine freelancer's desperately seeking Wikipedia help, Eliot Spitzer's coming to CNN, an age bias suit against a NYC TV station, and Mike Bloomberg saves the media, no problem.

32 year-old unemployed veteran Alvin Greene came out of nowhere to win the South Carolina Democratic Senate Primary. Is he an embodiment of anti-establishment rage? The next Sarah Palin? Or literally brain damaged?

Larry King's contract runs out in 2011. Who will replace him? It looks increasingly likely that it will be this man: Piers Morgan, the British television personality familiar to US viewers as the guy who won Celebrity Apprentice in 2008.

Larry King's wife, Shawn King, overdosed on pills on May 28, according to RadarOnline. In a recording of the 911 call, her father tells the operator "I can't wake her up," and "I don't think she did it on purpose."