High class? Low class? No class. NO FITNESS CLASS. NEVER.

Did you know that homosexuality is a gateway drug? "Gateway drug to what,?" you ask. Well, I'm not really sure, because I didn't attend Baylor University, which offers a whole course on the subject, or even major in Gateway Drug Studies.

Kindergarten can be a difficult transition for a lot of kids. You know what makes it easier? Heroin.

The actor and hiptellectual (we're just making up words these days, right Sarah?) announced on Good Morning America today that he will be teaching a "very special class" in New Haven next year. What should it be? We have ideas.